[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第74部分

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sprung　up　on　either　side　of　Katharine；　as　to　whether　the　
Salvation　Army　has　any　right　to　play　hymns　at　street　corners　
on　Sunday　mornings；　thereby　making　it　impossible　for　
James　to　have　his　sleep　out；　and　tampering　with　the　rights　
of　individual　liberty。　

“You　see；　James　likes　to　lie　in　bed　and　sleep　like　a　
hog；”　said　Johnnie；　explaining　himself　to　Katharine；　
whereupon　James　fired　up　and；　making　her　his　goal；　also　

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exclaimed：　

“Because　Sundays　are　my　one　chance　in　the　week　of　
having　my　sleep　out。　Johnnie　messes　with　stinking　chemicals　
in　the　pantry—”　

They　appealed　to　her；　and　she　forgot　her　cake　and　began　
to　laugh　and　talk　and　argue　with　sudden　animation。　
The　large　family　seemed　to　her　so　warm　and　various　that　
she　forgot　to　censure　them　for　their　taste　in　pottery。　But　
the　personal　question　between　James　and　Johnnie　merged　
into　some　argument　already；　apparently；　debated；　so　that　
the　parts　had　been　distributed　among　the　family；　in　which　
Ralph　took　the　lead；　and　Katharine　found　herself　opposed　
to　him　and　the　champion　of　Johnnie’s　cause；　who；　it　
appeared；　always　lost　his　head　and　got　excited　in　argument　
with　Ralph。　

“Yes；　yes；　that’s　what　I　mean。　She’s　got　it　right；”　he　
exclaimed；　after　Katharine　had　restated　his　case；　and　made　
it　more　precise。　The　debate　was　left　almost　solely　to　
Katharine　and　Ralph。　They　looked　into　each　other’s　eyes　
fixedly；　like　wrestlers　trying　to　see　what　movement　is　
ing　next；　and　while　Ralph　spoke；　Katharine　bit　her　

lower　lip；　and　was　always　ready　with　her　next　point　as　
soon　as　he　had　done。　They　were　very　well　matched；　and　
held　the　opposite　views。　

But　at　the　most　exciting　stage　of　the　argument；　for　no　
reason　that　Katharine　could　see；　all　chairs　were　pushed　
back；　and　one　after　another　the　Denham　family　got　up　
and　went　out　of　the　door；　as　if　a　bell　had　summoned　
them。　She　was　not　used　to　the　clockwork　regulations　of　a　
large　family。　She　hesitated　in　what　she　was　saying；　and　
rose。　Mrs。　Denham　and　Joan　had　drawn　together　and　stood　
by　the　fireplace；　slightly　raising　their　skirts　above　their　
ankles；　and　discussing　something　which　had　an　air　of　
being　very　serious　and　very　private。　They　appeared　to　
have　forgotten　her　presence　among　them。　Ralph　stood　
holding　the　door　open　for　her。　

“Won’t　you　e　up　to　my　room？”　he　said。　And　Katharine；　
glancing　back　at　Joan；　who　smiled　at　her　in　a　preoccupied　
way；　followed　Ralph　upstairs。　She　was　thinking　of　
their　argument；　and　when；　after　the　long　climb；　he　opened　
his　door；　she　began　at　once。　

“The　question　is；　then；　at　what　point　is　it　right　for　the　

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Night　and　Day　

individual　to　assert　his　will　against　the　will　of　the　State。”　

For　some　time　they　continued　the　argument；　and　then　
the　intervals　between　one　statement　and　the　next　became　
longer　and　longer；　and　they　spoke　more　speculatively　
and　less　pugnaciously；　and　at　last　fell　silent。　
Katharine　went　over　the　argument　in　her　mind；　remembering　
how；　now　and　then；　it　had　been　set　conspicuously　
on　the　right　course　by　some　remark　offered　either　by　
James　or　by　Johnnie。　

“Your　brothers　are　very　clever；”　she　said。　“I　suppose　
you’re　in　the　habit　of　arguing？”　

“James　and　Johnnie　will　go　on　like　that　for　hours；”　
Ralph　replied。　“So　will　Hester；　if　you　start　her　upon　Elizabethan　
dramatists。”　

“And　the　little　girl　with　the　pigtail？”　

“Molly？　She’s　only　ten。　But　they’re　always　arguing　among　
themselves。”　

He　was　immensely　pleased　by　Katharine’s　praise　of　his　
brothers　and　sisters。　He　would　have　liked　to　go　on　telling　
her　about　them；　but　he　checked　himself。　

“I　see　that　it　must　be　difficult　to　leave　them；”　Katharine　

continued。　His　deep　pride　in　his　family　was　more　evident　
to　him；　at　that　moment；　than　ever　before；　and　the　idea　of　
living　alone　in　a　cottage　was　ridiculous。　All　that　brotherhood　
and　sisterhood；　and　a　mon　childhood　in　a　mon　
past　mean；　all　the　stability；　the　unambitious　radeship；　
and　tacit　understanding　of　family　life　at　its　
best；　came　to　his　mind；　and　he　thought　of　them　as　a　
pany；　of　which　he　was　the　leader；　bound　on　a　difficult；　
dreary；　but　glorious　voyage。　And　it　was　Katharine　
who　had　opened　his　eyes　to　this；　he　thought。　

A　little　dry　chirp　from　the　corner　of　the　room　now　roused　
her　attention。　

“My　tame　rook；”　he　explained　briefly。　“A　cat　had　bitten　
one　of　its　legs。”　She　looked　at　the　rook；　and　her　eyes　
went　from　one　object　to　another。　

“You　sit　here　and　read？”　she　said；　her　eyes　resting　upon　
his　books。　He　said　that　he　was　in　the　habit　of　working　
there　at　night。　

“The　great　advantage　of　Highgate　is　the　view　over　London。　
At　night　the　view　from　my　window　is　splendid。”　He　
was　extremely　anxious　that　she　should　appreciate　his　view；　

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and　she　rose　to　see　what　was　to　be　seen。　It　was　already　dark　
enough　for　the　turbulent　haze　to　be　yellow　with　the　light　of　
street　lamps；　and　she　tried　to　determine　the　quarters　of　the　
city　beneath　her。　The　sight　of　her　gazing　from　his　window　
gave　him　a　peculiar　satisfaction。　When　she　turned；　at　length；　
he　was　still　sitting　motionless　in　his　chair。　

“It　must　be　late；”　she　said。　“I　must　be　going。”　She　
settled　upon　the　arm　of　the　chair　irresolutely；　thinking　
that　she　had　no　wish　to　go　home。　William　would　be　there；　
and　he　would　find　some　way　of　making　things　unpleasant　
for　her；　and　the　memory　of　their　quarrel　came　back　to　her。　
She　had　noticed　Ralph’s　coldness；　too。　She　looked　at　him；　
and　from　his　fixed　stare　she　thought　that　he　must　be　
working　out　some　theory；　some　argument。　He　had　thought；　
perhaps；　of　some　fresh　point　in　his　position；　as　to　the　
bounds　of　personal　liberty。　She　waited；　silently；　thinking　
about　liberty。　

“You’ve　won　again；”　he　said　at　last；　without　moving。　

“I’ve　won？”　she　repeated；　thinking　of　the　argument。　

“I　wish　to　God　I　hadn’t　asked　you　here；”　he　burst　out。　

“What　do　you　mean？”　

“When　you’re　here；　it’s　different—I’m　happy。　You’ve　only　
to　walk　to　the　window—you’ve　only　to　talk　about　liberty。　
When　I　saw　you　down　there　among　them　all—”　He　stopped　
short。　

“You　thought　how　ordinary　I　was。”　

“I　tried　to　think　so。　But　I　thought　you　more　wonderful　
than　ever。”　

An　immense　relief；　and　a　reluctance　to　enjoy　that　relief；　
conflicted　in　her　heart。　

She　slid　down　into　the　chair。　

“I　thought　you　disliked　me；”　she　said。　

“God　knows　I　tried；”　he　replied。　“I’ve　done　my　best　to　
see　you　as　you　are；　without　any　of　this　damned　romantic　
nonsense。　That　was　why　I　asked　you　here；　and　it’s　increased　
my　folly。　When　you’re　gone　I　shall　look　out　of　
that　window　and　think　of　you。　I　shall　waste　the　whole　
evening　thinking　of　you。　I　shall　waste　my　whole　life；　I　
believe。”　

He　spoke　with　such　vehemence　that　her　relief　disappeared；　
she　frowned；　and　her　tone　changed　to　one　almost　
of　severity。　

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Night　and　Day　

“This　is　what　I　foretold。　We　shall　gain　nothing　but　unhappiness。　
Look　at　me；　Ralph。”　He　looked　at　her。　“I　assure　
you　that　I’m　far　more　ordinary　than　I　appear。　Beauty　
means　nothing　whatever。　In　fact；　the　most　beautiful　
women　are　generally　the　most　stupid。　I’m　not　that；　but　
I’m　a　matteroffact；　prosaic；　rather　ordinary　character；　I　
order　the　dinner；　I　pay　the　bills；　I　do　the　accounts；　I　wind　
up　the　clock；　and　I　never　look　at　a　book。”　

“You　forget—”　he　began；　but　she　would　not　let　him　
speak。　

“You　e　and　see　me　among　flowers　and　pictures；　and　
think　me　mysterious；　romantic；　and　all　the　rest　of　it。　Being　
yourself　very　inexperienced　and　very　emotional；　you　
go　home　and　invent　a　story　about　me；　and　now　you　can’t　
separate　me　from　the　person　you’ve　imagined　me　to　be。　
You　call　that；　I　suppose；　being　in　love；　as　a　matter　of　fact　
it’s　being　in　delusion。　All　romantic　people　are　the　same；”　
she　added。　“My　mother　spends　her　life　in　making　stories　
about　the　people　she’s　fond　of。　But　I　won’t　have　you　do　it　
about　me；　if　I　can　help　it。”　

“You　can’t　help　it；”　he　said。　

“I　warn　you　it’s　the　source　of　all　evil。”　

“And　of　all　good；”　he　added。　

“You’ll　find　out　that　I’m　not　what　you　think　me。”　

“Perhaps。　But　I　shall　gain　more　than　I　lose。”　

“If　such　gain’s　worth　having。”　

They　were　silent　for　a　space。　

“That　may　be　what　we　have　to　face；”　he　said。　“There　
may　be　nothing　else。　Nothing　but　what　we　imagine。”　

“The　reason　of　our　loneliness；”　she　mused；　and　they　
were　silent　for　a　time。　

“When　are　you　to　be　married？”　he　asked　abruptly；　with　
a　change　of　tone。　

“Not　till　September；　I　think。　It’s　been　put　off。”　

“You　won’t　be　lonely　then；”　he　said。　“According　to　what　
people　say；　marriage　is　a　very　queer　business。　They　say　
it’s　different　from　anything　else。　It　may　be　true。　I’ve　known　
one　or　two　cases　where　it　seems　to　be　true。”　He　hoped　
that　she　would　go　on　with　the　subject。　But　she　made　no　
reply。　He　had　done　his　best　to　master　himself；　and　his　
voice　was　sufficiently　indifferent；　but　her　silence　tormented　
him。　She　would　never　speak　to　him　of　Rodney　of　

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her　own　accord；　and　her　reserve　left　a　whole　continent　of　
her　soul　in　darkness。　

“It　may　be　put　off　even　longer　than　that；”　she　said；　as　
if　by　an　afterthought。　“Some　one　in　the　office　is　ill；　and　
William　has　to　take　his　place。　We　may　put　it　off　for　some　
time　in　fact。”　

“That’s　rather　hard　on　him；　isn’t　it？”　Ralph　asked。　

“He　has　his　work；”　she　replied。　“He　has　lots　of　things　
that　interest　him…　。　I　know　I’ve　been　to　that　place；”　she　
broke　off；　pointing　to　a　photograph。　“But　I　can’t　remember　
where　it　is—oh；　of　course　it’s　Oxford。　Now；　what　about　
your　cottage？”　

“I’m　not　going　to　take　it。”　

“How　you　change　your　mind！”　she　smiled。　

“It’s　not　that；”　he　said　impatiently。　“It’s　that　I　want　to　
be　where　I　can　see　you。”　

“Our　pact　is　going　to　hold　in　spite　of　all　I’ve　said？”　
she　asked。　

“For　ever；　so　far　as　I’m　concerned；”　he　replied。　

“You’re　going　to　go　on　dreaming　and　imagining　and　
making　up　stories　about　me　as