[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第70部分
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barely and tersely; with a curious assumption that the
number of things that could properly be thought about
was strictly limited。 And Mr。 Bast was only stiff upon
the surface; there was an intelligence in his face which
attracted her intelligence。
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“When will the public know?” she asked。
“What d’you mean—about us?” Mr。 Bast asked; with
a little smile。
“That depends upon many things;” said Mary。 The conspirators
looked pleased; as if Katharine’s question; with
the belief in their existence which it implied; had a warming
effect upon them。
“In starting a society such as we wish to start (we can’t
say any more at present);” Mr。 Bast began; with a
little jerk of his head; “there are two things to remember—
the Press and the public。 Other societies; which shall
be nameless; have gone under because they’ve appealed
only to cranks。 If you don’t want a mutual admiration
society; which dies as soon as you’ve all discovered each
other’s faults; you must nobble the Press。 You must appeal
to the public。”
“That’s the difficulty;” said Mary thoughtfully。
“That’s where she es in;” said Mr。 Bast; jerking
his head in Mary’s direction。 “She’s the only one of us
who’s a capitalist。 She can make a wholetime job of it。 I’m
tied to an office; I can only give my spare time。 Are you;
by any chance; on the lookout for a job?” he asked
Katharine; with a queer mixture of distrust and deference。
“Marriage is her job at present;” Mary replied for her。
“Oh; I see;” said Mr。 Bast。 He made allowances for
that; he and his friends had faced the question of sex;
along with all others; and assigned it an honorable place
in their scheme of life。 Katharine felt this beneath the
roughness of his manner; and a world entrusted to the
guardianship of Mary Datchet and Mr。 Bast seemed to
her a good world; although not a romantic or beautiful
place or; to put it figuratively; a place where any line of
blue mist softly linked tree to tree upon the horizon。 For
a moment she thought she saw in his face; bent now over
the fire; the features of that original man whom we still
recall every now and then; although we know only the
clerk; barrister; Governmental official; or workingman
variety of him。 Not that Mr。 Bast; giving his days to
merce and his spare time to social reform; would long
carry about him any trace of his possibilities of pleteness;
but; for the moment; in his youth and ardor;
still speculative; still uncramped; one might imagine him
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the citizen of a nobler state than ours。 Katharine turned
over her small stock of information; and wondered what
their society might be going to attempt。 Then she remembered
that she was hindering their business; and rose;
still thinking of this society; and thus thinking; she said
to Mr。 Bast:
“Well; you’ll ask me to join when the time es; I
hope。”
He nodded; and took his pipe from his mouth; but;
being unable to think of anything to say; he put it back
again; although he would have been glad if she had
stayed。
Against her wish; Mary insisted upon taking her downstairs;
and then; as there was no cab to be seen; they
stood in the street together; looking about them。
“Go back;” Katharine urged her; thinking of Mr。 Bast
with his papers in his hand。
“You can’t wander about the streets alone in those
clothes;” said Mary; but the desire to find a cab was not
her true reason for standing beside Katharine for a minute
or two。 Unfortunately for her posure; Mr。 Bast and
his papers seemed to her an incidental diversion of life’s
serious purpose pared with some tremendous fact
which manifested itself as she stood alone with Katharine。
It may have been their mon womanhood。
“Have you seen Ralph?” she asked suddenly; without
preface。
“Yes;” said Katharine directly; but she did not remember
when or where she had seen him。 It took her a moment
or two to remember why Mary should ask her if she
had seen Ralph。
“I believe I’m jealous;” said Mary。
“Nonsense; Mary;” said Katharine; rather distractedly;
taking her arm and beginning to walk up the street in the
direction of the main road。 “Let me see; we went to Kew;
and we agreed to be friends。 Yes; that’s what happened。”
Mary was silent; in the hope that Katharine would tell
her more。 But Katharine said nothing。
“It’s not a question of friendship;” Mary exclaimed; her
anger rising; to her own surprise。 “You know it’s not。 How
can it be? I’ve no right to interfere—” She stopped。 “Only
I’d rather Ralph wasn’t hurt;” she concluded。
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“I think he seems able to take care of himself;” Katharine
observed。 Without either of them wishing it; a feeling of
hostility had risen between them。
“Do you really think it’s worth it?” said Mary; after a
pause。
“How can one tell?” Katharine asked。
“Have you ever cared for any one?” Mary demanded
rashly and foolishly。
“I can’t wander about London discussing my feelings—
Here’s a cab—no; there’s some one in it。”
“We don’t want to quarrel;” said Mary。
“Ought I to have told him that I wouldn’t be his friend?”
Katharine asked。 “Shall I tell him that? If so; what reason
shall I give him?”
“Of course you can’t tell him that;” said Mary; controlling
herself。
“I believe I shall; though;” said Katharine suddenly。
“I lost my temper; Katharine; I shouldn’t have said what
I did。”
“The whole thing’s foolish;” said Katharine; peremptorily。
“That’s what I say。 It’s not worth it。” She spoke with
unnecessary vehemence; but it was not directed against
Mary Datchet。 Their animosity had pletely disappeared;
and upon both of them a cloud of difficulty and darkness
rested; obscuring the future; in which they had both to
find a way。
“No; no; it’s not worth it;” Katharine repeated。 “Suppose;
as you say; it’s out of the question—this friendship;
he falls in love with me。 I don’t want that。 Still;”
she added; “I believe you exaggerate; love’s not everything;
marriage itself is only one of the things—” They
had reached the main thoroughfare; and stood looking at
the omnibuses and passersby; who seemed; for the moment;
to illustrate what Katharine had said of the diversity
of human interests。 For both of them it had bee
one of those moments of extreme detachment; when it
seems unnecessary ever again to shoulder the burden of
happiness and selfassertive existence。 Their neighbors
were wele to their possessions。
“I don’t lay down any rules;”’ said Mary; recovering herself
first; as they turned after a long pause of this description。
“All I say is that you should know what you’re
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about—for certain; but;” she added; “I expect you do。”
At the same time she was profoundly perplexed; not
only by what she knew of the arrangements for Katharine’s
marriage; but by the impression which she had of her;
there on her arm; dark and inscrutable。
They walked back again and reached the steps which
led up to Mary’s flat。 Here they stopped and paused for a
moment; saying nothing。
“You must go in;” said Katharine; rousing herself。 “He’s
waiting all this time to go on with his reading。” She
glanced up at the lighted window near the top of the
house; and they both looked at it and waited for a moment。
A flight of semicircular steps ran up to the hall;
and Mary slowly mounted the first two or three; and
paused; looking down upon Katharine。
“I think you underrate the value of that emotion;” she
said slowly; and a little awkwardly。 She climbed another
step and looked down once more upon the figure that
was only partly lit up; standing in the street with a colorless
face turned upwards。 As Mary hesitated; a cab came
by and Katharine turned and stopped it; saying as she
opened the door:
“Remember; I want to belong to your society—remember;”
she added; having to raise her voice a little; and
shutting the door upon the rest of her words。
Mary mounted the stairs step by step; as if she had to
lift her body up an extremely steep ascent。 She had had
to wrench herself forcibly away from Katharine; and every
step vanquished her desire。 She held on grimly; encouraging
herself as though she were actually making
some great physical effort in climbing a height。 She was
conscious that Mr。 Bast; sitting at the top of the stairs
with his documents; offered her solid footing if she were
capable of reaching it。 The knowledge gave her a faint
sense of exaltation。
Mr。 Bast raised his eyes as she opened the door。
“I’ll go on where I left off;” he said。 “Stop me if you
want anything explained。”
He had been rereading the document; and making pencil
notes in the margin while he waited; and he went on
again as if there had been no interruption。 Mary sat down
among the flat cushions; lit another cigarette; and lis
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tened with a frown upon her face。
Katharine leant back in the corner of the cab that carried
her to Chelsea; conscious of fatigue; and conscious;
too; of the sober and satisfactory nature of such industry
as she had just witnessed。 The thought of it posed
and calmed her。 When she reached home she let herself
in as quietly as she could; in the hope that the household
was already gone to bed。 But her excursion had occupied
less time than she thought; and she heard sounds
of unmistakable liveliness upstairs。 A door opened; and
she drew herself into a groundfloor room in case the
sound meant that Mr。 Peyton were taking his leave。 From
where she stood she could see the stairs; though she was
herself invisible。 Some one was ing down the stairs;
and now she saw that it was William Rodney。 He looked a
little strange; as if he were walking in his sleep; his lips
moved as if he were acting some part to himself。 He came
down very slowly; step by step; with one hand upon the
banisters to guide himself。