[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第24部分

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love　affair；　had　there　been　such　a　thing；　would　have　caused　
her　a　moment’s　uneasiness　where　Ralph　was　concerned。　
He　was　destined　in　her　fancy　for　something　splendid　in　
the　way　of　success　or　failure；　she　knew　not　which。　

And　yet　nobody　could　have　worked　harder　or　done　better　
in　all　the　recognized　stages　of　a　young　man’s　life　than　
Ralph　had　done；　and　Joan　had　to　gather　materials　for　her　
fears　from　trifles　in　her　brother’s　behavior　which　would　
have　escaped　any　other　eye。　It　was　natural　that　she　should　
be　anxious。　Life　had　been　so　arduous　for　all　of　them　from　
the　start　that　she　could　not　help　dreading　any　sudden　
relaxation　of　his　grasp　upon　what　he　held；　though；　as　she　
knew　from　inspection　of　her　own　life；　such　sudden　impulse　
to　let　go　and　make　away　from　the　discipline　and　
the　drudgery　was　sometimes　almost　irresistible。　But　with　

105　



Night　and　Day　

Ralph；　if　he　broke　away；　she　knew　that　it　would　be　only　to　
put　himself　under　harsher　constraint；　she　figured　him　toiling　
through　sandy　deserts　under　a　tropical　sun　to　find　the　
source　of　some　river　or　the　haunt　of　some　fly；　she　figured　
him　living　by　the　labor　of　his　hands　in　some　city　slum；　the　
victim　of　one　of　those　terrible　theories　of　right　and　wrong　
which　were　current　at　the　time；　she　figured　him　prisoner　
for　life　in　the　house　of　a　woman　who　had　seduced　him　by　
her　misfortunes。　Half　proudly；　and　wholly　anxiously；　she　
framed　such　thoughts；　as　they　sat；　late　at　night；　talking　
together　over　the　gasstove　in　Ralph’s　bedroom。　

It　is　likely　that　Ralph　would　not　have　recognized　his　
own　dream　of　a　future　in　the　forecasts　which　disturbed　
his　sister’s　peace　of　mind。　Certainly；　if　any　one　of　them　
had　been　put　before　him　he　would　have　rejected　it　with　a　
laugh；　as　the　sort　of　life　that　held　no　attractions　for　him。　
He　could　not　have　said　how　it　was　that　he　had　put　these　
absurd　notions　into　his　sister’s　head。　Indeed；　he　prided　
himself　upon　being　well　broken　into　a　life　of　hard　work；　
about　which　he　had　no　sort　of　illusions。　His　vision　of　his　
own　future；　unlike　many　such　forecasts；　could　have　been　

made　public　at　any　moment　without　a　blush；　he　attributed　
to　himself　a　strong　brain；　and　conferred　on　himself　
a　seat　in　the　House　of　mons　at　the　age　of　fifty；　a　
moderate　fortune；　and；　with　luck；　an　unimportant　office　
in　a　Liberal　Government。　There　was　nothing　extravagant　
in　a　forecast　of　that　kind；　and　certainly　nothing　dishonorable。　
Nevertheless；　as　his　sister　guessed；　it　needed　all　
Ralph’s　strength　of　will；　together　with　the　pressure　of　
circumstances；　to　keep　his　feet　moving　in　the　path　which　
led　that　way。　It　needed；　in　particular；　a　constant　repetition　
of　a　phrase　to　the　effect　that　he　shared　the　mon　
fate；　found　it　best　of　all；　and　wished　for　no　other；　and　by　
repeating　such　phrases　he　acquired　punctuality　and　habits　
of　work；　and　could　very　plausibly　demonstrate　that　to　
be　a　clerk　in　a　solicitor’s　office　was　the　best　of　all　possible　
lives；　and　that　other　ambitions　were　vain。　

But；　like　all　beliefs　not　genuinely　held；　this　one　depended　
very　much　upon　the　amount　of　acceptance　it　received　
from　other　people；　and　in　private；　when　the　pressure　
of　public　opinion　was　removed；　Ralph　let　himself　
swing　very　rapidly　away　from　his　actual　circumstances　

106　



Virginia　Woolf　

upon　strange　voyages　which；　indeed；　he　would　have　been　
ashamed　to　describe。　In　these　dreams；　of　course；　he　figured　
in　noble　and　romantic　parts；　but　selfglorification　
was　not　the　only　motive　of　them。　They　gave　outlet　to　
some　spirit　which　found　no　work　to　do　in　real　life；　for；　
with　the　pessimism　which　his　lot　forced　upon　him；　Ralph　
had　made　up　his　mind　that　there　was　no　use　for　what；　
contemptuously　enough；　he　called　dreams；　in　the　world　
which　we　inhabit。　It　sometimes　seemed　to　him　that　this　
spirit　was　the　most　valuable　possession　he　had；　he　thought　
that　by　means　of　it　he　could　set　flowering　waste　tracts　of　
the　earth；　cure　many　ills；　or　raise　up　beauty　where　none　
now　existed；　it　was；　too；　a　fierce　and　potent　spirit　which　
would　devour　the　dusty　books　and　parchments　on　the　
office　wall　with　one　lick　of　its　tongue；　and　leave　him　in　a　
minute　standing　in　nakedness；　if　he　gave　way　to　it。　His　
endeavor；　for　many　years；　had　been　to　control　the　spirit；　
and　at　the　age　of　twentynine　he　thought　he　could　pride　
himself　upon　a　life　rigidly　divided　into　the　hours　of　work　
and　those　of　dreams；　the　two　lived　side　by　side　without　
harming　each　other。　As　a　matter　of　fact；　this　effort　at　

discipline　had　been　helped　by　the　interests　of　a　difficult　
profession；　but　the　old　conclusion　to　which　Ralph　had　
e　when　he　left　college　still　held　sway　in　his　mind；　
and　tinged　his　views　with　the　melancholy　belief　that　life　
for　most　people　pels　the　exercise　of　the　lower　gifts　
and　wastes　the　precious　ones；　until　it　forces　us　to　agree　
that　there　is　little　virtue；　as　well　as　little　profit；　in　what　
once　seemed　to　us　the　noblest　part　of　our　inheritance。　

Denham　was　not　altogether　popular　either　in　his　office　
or　among　his　family。　He　was　too　positive；　at　this　stage　of　
his　career；　as　to　what　was　right　and　what　wrong；　too　
proud　of　his　selfcontrol；　and；　as　is　natural　in　the　case　of　
persons　not　altogether　happy　or　well　suited　in　their　conditions；　
too　apt　to　prove　the　folly　of　contentment；　if　he　
found　any　one　who　confessed　to　that　weakness。　In　the　
office　his　rather　ostentatious　efficiency　annoyed　those　
who　took　their　own　work　more　lightly；　and；　if　they　foretold　
his　advancement；　it　was　not　altogether　sympathetically。　
Indeed；　he　appeared　to　be　rather　a　hard　and　self
sufficient　young　man；　with　a　queer　temper；　and　manners　
that　were　unpromisingly　abrupt；　who　was　consumed　

107　



Night　and　Day　

with　a　desire　to　get　on　in　the　world；　which　was　natural；　
these　critics　thought；　in　a　man　of　no　means；　but　not　
engaging。　

The　young　men　in　the　office　had　a　perfect　right　to　these　
opinions；　because　Denham　showed　no　particular　desire　
for　their　friendship。　He　liked　them　well　enough；　but　shut　
them　up　in　that　partment　of　life　which　was　devoted　
to　work。　Hitherto；　indeed；　he　had　found　little　difficulty　
in　arranging　his　life　as　methodically　as　he　arranged　his　
expenditure；　but　about　this　time　he　began　to　encounter　
experiences　which　were　not　so　easy　to　classify。　Mary　
Datchet　had　begun　this　confusion　two　years　ago　by　bursting　
into　laughter　at　some　remark　of　his；　almost　the　first　
time　they　met。　She　could　not　explain　why　it　was。　She　
thought　him　quite　astonishingly　odd。　When　he　knew　her　
well　enough　to　tell　her　how　he　spent　Monday　and　Wednesday　
and　Saturday；　she　was　still　more　amused；　she　laughed　
till　he　laughed；　too；　without　knowing　why。　It　seemed　to　
her　very　odd　that　he　should　know　as　much　about　breeding　
bulldogs　as　any　man　in　England；　that　he　had　a　collection　
of　wild　flowers　found　near　London；　and　his　weekly　

visit　to　old　Miss　Trotter　at　Ealing；　who　was　an　authority　
upon　the　science　of　Heraldry；　never　failed　to　excite　her　
laughter。　She　wanted　to　know　everything；　even　the　kind　of　
cake　which　the　old　lady　supplied　on　these　occasions；　and　
their　summer　excursions　to　churches　in　the　neighborhood　
of　London　for　the　purpose　of　taking　rubbings　of　the　brasses　
became　most　important　festivals；　from　the　interest　she　
took　in　them。　In　six　months　she　knew　more　about　his　odd　
friends　and　hobbies　than　his　own　brothers　and　sisters　knew；　
after　living　with　him　all　his　life；　and　Ralph　found　this　very　
pleasant；　though　disordering；　for　his　own　view　of　himself　
had　always　been　profoundly　serious。　

Certainly　it　was　very　pleasant　to　be　with　Mary　Datchet　
and　to　bee；　directly　the　door　was　shut；　quite　a　different　
sort　of　person；　eccentric　and　lovable；　with　scarcely　any　
likeness　to　the　self　most　people　knew。　He　became　less　
serious；　and　rather　less　dictatorial　at　home；　for　he　was　apt　
to　hear　Mary　laughing　at　him；　and　telling　him；　as　she　was　
fond　of　doing；　that　he　knew　nothing　at　all　about　anything。　
She　made　him；　also；　take　an　interest　in　public　questions；　
for　which　she　had　a　natural　liking；　and　was　in　process　of　

108　



Virginia　Woolf　

turning　him　from　Tory　to　Radical；　after　a　course　of　public　
meetings；　which　began　by　boring　him　acutely；　and　ended　
by　exciting　him　even　more　than　they　excited　her。　

But　he　was　reserved；　when　ideas　started　up　in　his　mind；　
he　divided　them　automatically　into　those　he　could　discuss　
with　Mary；　and　those　he　must　keep　for　himself。　She　
knew　this　and　it　interested　her；　for　she　was　accustomed　
to　find　young　men　very　ready　to　talk　about　themselves；　
and　had　e　to　listen　to　them　as　one　listens　to　children；　
without　any　thought　of　herself。　But　with　Ralph；　she　
had　very　little　of　this　maternal　feeling；　and；　in　consequence；　
a　much　keener　sense　of　her　own　individuality。　

Late　one　afternoon　Ralph　stepped　along　the　Strand　to　
an　interview　with　a　lawyer　upon　business。　The　afternoon　
light　was　almost　over；　and　already　streams　of　greenish　
and　yellowish　artificial　light　were　being　poured　into　an　
atmosphere　which；　in　country　lanes；　would　now　have　been　
soft　with　the　smoke　of　wood　fires；　and　on　both　sides　of　
the　road　the　shop　windows　were　full　of　sparkling　chains　
and　highly　polished　leather　cases；　which　stood　upon　
shelves　made　of　thick　plateglass。　None　of　these　differ


ent　objects　was　seen　separately　by　Denham；　but　from　all　
of　them　he　drew　an　impression　of　stir　and　cheerfulness。　
Thus　it　came　about　that　he　saw　Katharine　Hilbery　ing　
towards　him；　and　looked　straight　at　her；　as　if　she　were　
only　an　illustration　of　the　argument　that　was　going　forward　
in　his　mind。　In　this　spirit　he　noticed　the　rather　set　
expression　in　her　eyes；　and　the　slight；　halfconscious　
movement　of　her　lips；　which；　together　with　her　height　
and　the　distinction　of　her　dress；　made　her　look　as　if　the　
scurrying　crowd　impeded　her；　and　her　direction　were　different　
from　theirs。　He　noticed　this　calmly；　but　suddenly；　
as　he　passed　her；　his　hands　and　knees　began　to　tremble；　
and　his　heart　beat　painfully。　She　did　not　see　him；　and　
went　on　repeating　to　herself　some　lines　which　had　stuck　
to　her　memory：　“It’s　life　that　matters；　n