[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第23部分
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“I have suspected for some time that he was not happy。
There were new lines on his face。 So I went to his rooms;
when I knew he was engaged at the poor men’s college。
He lectures there—Roman law; you know; or it may be
Greek。 The landlady said Mr。 Alardyce only slept there
about once a fortnight now。 He looked so ill; she said。
She had seen him with a young person。 I suspected something
directly。 I went to his room; and there was an en
velope on the mantelpiece; and a letter with an address
in Seton Street; off the Kennington Road。”
Mrs。 Hilbery fidgeted rather restlessly; and hummed fragments
of her tune; as if to interrupt。
“I went to Seton Street;” Aunt Celia continued firmly。
“A very low place—lodginghouses; you know; with canaries
in the window。 Number seven just like all the others。
I rang; I knocked; no one came。 I went down the
area。 I am certain I saw some one inside—children—a
cradle。 But no reply—no reply。” She sighed; and looked
straight in front of her with a glazed expression in her
halfveiled blue eyes。
“I stood in the street;” she resumed; “in case I could
catch a sight of one of them。 It seemed a very long time。
There were rough men singing in the publichouse round
the corner。 At last the door opened; and some one—it
must have been the woman herself—came right past me。
There was only the pillarbox between us。”
“And what did she look like?” Mrs。 Hilbery demanded。
“One could see how the poor boy had been deluded;” was
all that Mrs。 Milvain vouchsafed by way of description。
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“Poor thing!” Mrs。 Hilbery exclaimed。
“Poor Cyril!” Mrs。 Milvain said; laying a slight emphasis
upon Cyril。
“But they’ve got nothing to live upon;” Mrs。 Hilbery
continued。 “If he’d e to us like a man;” she went on;
“and said; ‘I’ve been a fool;’ one would have pitied him;
one would have tried to help him。 There’s nothing so
disgraceful after all— But he’s been going about all these
years; pretending; letting one take it for granted; that he
was single。 And the poor deserted little wife—”
“She is not his wife;” Aunt Celia interrupted。
“I’ve never heard anything so detestable!” Mrs。 Hilbery
wound up; striking her fist on the arm of her chair。 As she
realized the facts she became thoroughly disgusted; although;
perhaps; she was more hurt by the concealment
of the sin than by the sin itself。 She looked splendidly
roused and indignant; and Katharine felt an immense relief
and pride in her mother。 It was plain that her indignation
was very genuine; and that her mind was as perfectly
focused upon the facts as any one could wish—
more so; by a long way; than Aunt Celia’s mind; which
seemed to be timidly circling; with a morbid pleasure; in
these unpleasant shades。 She and her mother together
would take the situation in hand; visit Cyril; and see the
whole thing through。
“We must realize Cyril’s point of view first;” she said;
speaking directly to her mother; as if to a contemporary;
but before the words were out of her mouth; there was
more confusion outside; and Cousin Caroline; Mrs。 Hilbery’s
maiden cousin; entered the room。 Although she was by
birth an Alardyce; and Aunt Celia a Hilbery; the plexities
of the family relationship were such that each was at
once first and second cousin to the other; and thus aunt
and cousin to the culprit Cyril; so that his misbehavior
was almost as much Cousin Caroline’s affair as Aunt Celia’s。
Cousin Caroline was a lady of very imposing height and
circumference; but in spite of her size and her handsome
trappings; there was something exposed and unsheltered
in her expression; as if for many summers her thin red
skin and hooked nose and reduplication of chins; so much
resembling the profile of a cockatoo; had been bared to
the weather; she was; indeed; a single lady; but she had;
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it was the habit to say; “made a life for herself;” and was
thus entitled to be heard with respect。
“This unhappy business;” she began; out of breath as
she was。 “If the train had not gone out of the station just
as I arrived; I should have been with you before。 Celia
has doubtless told you。 You will agree with me; Maggie。
He must be made to marry her at once for the sake of the
children—”
“But does he refuse to marry her?” Mrs。 Hilbery inquired;
with a return of her bewilderment。
“He has written an absurd perverted letter; all quotations;”
Cousin Caroline puffed。 “He thinks he’s doing a very
fine thing; where we only see the folly of it… 。 The girl’s
every bit as infatuated as he is—for which I blame him。”
“She entangled him;” Aunt Celia intervened; with a very
curious smoothness of intonation; which seemed to convey
a vision of threads weaving and interweaving a close;
white mesh round their victim。
“It’s no use going into the rights and wrongs of the
affair now; Celia;” said Cousin Caroline with some acerbity;
for she believed herself the only practical one of the
family; and regretted that; owing to the slowness of the
kitchen clock; Mrs。 Milvain had already confused poor
dear Maggie with her own inplete version of the facts。
“The mischief’s done; and very ugly mischief too。 Are we
to allow the third child to be born out of wedlock? (I am
sorry to have to say these things before you; Katharine。)
He will bear your name; Maggie—your father’s name; remember。”
“But let us hope it will be a girl;” said Mrs。 Hilbery。
Katharine; who had been looking at her mother constantly;
while the chatter of tongues held sway; perceived
that the look of straightforward indignation had already
vanished; her mother was evidently casting about in her
mind for some method of escape; or bright spot; or sudden
illumination which should show to the satisfaction
of everybody that all had happened; miraculously but
incontestably; for the best。
“It’s detestable—quite detestable!” she repeated; but
in tones of no great assurance; and then her face lit up
with a smile which; tentative at first; soon became almost
assured。 “Nowadays; people don’t think so badly of
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Night and Day
these things as they used to do;” she began。 “It will be
horribly unfortable for them sometimes; but if they
are brave; clever children; as they will be; I dare say it’ll
make remarkable people of them in the end。 Robert Browning
used to say that every great man has Jewish blood in
him; and we must try to look at it in that light。 And; after
all; Cyril has acted on principle。 One may disagree with
his principle; but; at least; one can respect it—like the
French Revolution; or Cromwell cutting the King’s head
off。 Some of the most terrible things in history have been
done on principle;” she concluded。
“I’m afraid I take a very different view of principle;”
Cousin Caroline remarked tartly。
“Principle!” Aunt Celia repeated; with an air of deprecating
such a word in such a connection。 “I will go tomorrow
and see him;” she added。
“But why should you take these disagreeable things
upon yourself; Celia?” Mrs。 Hilbery interposed; and Cousin
Caroline thereupon protested with some further plan involving
sacrifice of herself。
Growing weary of it all; Katharine turned to the win
dow; and stood among the folds of the curtain; pressing
close to the windowpane; and gazing disconsolately at
the river much in the attitude of a child depressed by the
meaningless talk of its elders。 She was much disappointed
in her mother—and in herself too。 The little tug which
she gave to the blind; letting it fly up to the top with a
snap; signified her annoyance。 She was very angry; and
yet impotent to give expression to her anger; or know
with whom she was angry。 How they talked and moralized
and made up stories to suit their own version of the being;
and secretly praised their own devotion and tact!
No; they had their dwelling in a mist; she decided; hundreds
of miles away —away from what? “Perhaps it would
be better if I married William;” she thought suddenly;
and the thought appeared to loom through the mist like
solid ground。 She stood there; thinking of her own destiny;
and the elder ladies talked on; until they had talked
themselves into a decision to ask the young woman to
luncheon; and tell her; very friendlily; how such behavior
appeared to women like themselves; who knew the world。
And then Mrs。 Hilbery was struck by a better idea。
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CHAPTER X
Messrs。 Grateley and Hooper; the solicitors in whose firm
Ralph Denham was clerk; had their office in Lincoln’s Inn
Fields; and there Ralph Denham appeared every morning
very punctually at ten o’clock。 His punctuality; together
with other qualities; marked him out among the clerks
for success; and indeed it would have been safe to wager
that in ten years’ time or so one would find him at the
head of his profession; had it not been for a peculiarity
which sometimes seemed to make everything about him
uncertain and perilous。 His sister Joan had already been
disturbed by his love of gambling with his savings。 Scrutinizing
him constantly with the eye of affection; she
had bee aware of a curious perversity in his temperament
which caused her much anxiety; and would have
caused her still more if she had not recognized the germs
of it in her own nature。 She could fancy Ralph suddenly
sacrificing his entire career for some fantastic imagination;
some cause or idea or even (so her fancy ran) for
some woman seen from a railway train; hanging up clothes
in a back yard。 When he had found this beauty or this
cause; no force; she knew; would avail to restrain him
from pursuit of it。 She suspected the East also; and always
fidgeted herself when she saw him with a book of
Indian travels in his hand; as though he were sucking
contagion from the page。 On the other hand; no mon
love affair; had there been such a thing; would have caused
her a moment’s uneasiness where