3 eclipse月食-第9部分

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　　We　both　cringed；　but　then　Charlie’s　face　smoothed　out。　He　seemed　to　believe　me。　
　　“Can　I　go　to　bed；　now？　Please。”　
　　“In　a　minute；”　he　said。　

“Aw；　please；　Dad？　I’m　begging　you。”　
“The　embarrassing　part’s　over；　I　promise；”　he　assured　me。　
I　shot　a　glance　at　him；　and　was　grateful　to　see　that　he　looked　more　relaxed；　that　his　face　was　back　to　its　
regular　color。　He　sank　down　onto　the　sofa；　sighing　with　relief　that　he　was　past　the　sex　speech。　
“What　now？”　
“I　just　wanted　to　know　how　the　balance　thing　is　ing　along。”　
“Oh。　Good；　I　guess。　I　made　plans　with　Angela　today。　I’m　going　to　help　her　with　her　graduation　
announcements。　Just　us　girls。”　
“That’s　nice。　And　what　about　Jake？”　
I　sighed。　“I　haven’t　figured　that　one　out　yet；　Dad。”　
“Keep　trying；　Bella。　I　know　you’ll　do　the　right　thing。　You’re　a　good　person。”　
Nice。　So　if　I　didn’t　figure　out　some　way　to　make　things　right　with　Jacob；　then　I　was　a　bad　person？　That　
was　below　the　belt。　
“Sure；　sure；”　I　agreed。　The　automatic　response　almost　made　me　smile　—　it　was　something　I’d　picked　up　
from　Jacob。　I　even　said　it　in　the　same　patronizing　tone　he　used　with　his　own　father。　
Charlie　grinned　and　turned　the　sound　back　on。　He　slumped　lower　into　the　cushions；　pleased　with　his　
night’s　work。　I　could　tell　he　would　be　up　with　the　game　for　a　while。　
“’Night；　Bells。”　
“See　you　in　the　morning！”　I　sprinted　for　the　stairs。　
Edward　was　long　gone　and　he　wouldn’t　be　back　until　Charlie　was　asleep　—　he　was　probably　out　hunting　
or　something　to　pass　the　time　—　so　I　was　in　no　hurry　to　undress　for　bed。　I　wasn’t　in　the　mood　to　be　alone；　but　
I　certainly　wasn’t　going　to　go　back　downstairs　to　hang　out　with　my　Dad；　just　in　case　he　thought　of　some　topic　
of　sex　education　that　he　hadn’t　touched　on　before；　I　shuddered。　
So；　thanks　to　Charlie；　I　was　wound　up　and　anxious。　My　homework　was　done　and　I　didn’t　feel　mellow　
enough　for　reading　or　just　listening　to　music。　I　considered　calling　Renée　with　the　news　of　my　visit；　but　then　I　
realized　that　it　was　three　hours　later　in　Florida；　and　she　would　be　asleep。　
I　could　call　Angela；　I　supposed。　
But　suddenly　I　knew　that　it　wasn’t　Angela　that　I　wanted　to　talk　to。　That　I　needed　to　talk　to。　
I　stared　at　the　blank　black　window；　biting　my　lip。　I　don’t　know　how　long　I　stood　there　weighing　the　pros　
against　the　cons　—　doing　the　right　thing　by　Jacob；　seeing　my　closest　friend　again；　being　a　good　person；　versus　
making　Edward　furious　with　me。　Ten　minutes　maybe。　Long　enough　to　decide　that　the　pros　were　valid　while　the　
cons　were　not。　Edward　was　only　concerned　about　my　safety；　and　I　knew　that　there　was　really　no　problem　on　
that　count。　
The　phone　wasn’t　any　help；　Jacob　had　refused　to　answer　my　phone　calls　since　Edward’s　return。　Besides；　
I　needed　to　see　him　—　see　him　smiling　again　the　way　he　used　to。　I　needed　to　replace　that　awful　last　memory　
of　his　face　warped　and　twisted　by　pain　if　I　was　ever　going　to　have　any　peace　of　mind。　
I　had　an　hour　probably。　I　could　make　a　quick　run　down　to　La　Push　and　be　back　before　Edward　realized　I　
had　gone。　It　was　past　my　curfew；　but　would　Charlie　really　care　about　that　when　Edward　wasn’t　involved？　
One　way　to　find　out。　
I　grabbed　my　jacket　and　shoved　my　arms　through　the　sleeves　as　I　ran　down　the　stairs。　
Charlie　looked　up　from　the　game；　instantly　suspicious。　
“You　care　if　I　go　see　Jake　tonight？”　I　asked　breathlessly。　“I　won’t　stay　long。”　
As　soon　as　I　said　Jake’s　name；　Charlie’s　expression　relaxed　into　a　smug　smile。　He　didn’t　seem　surprised　
at　all　that　his　lecture　had　taken　effect　so　quickly。　“Sure；　kid。　No　problem。　Stay　as　long　as　you　like。”　
“Thanks；　Dad；”　I　said　as　I　darted　out　the　door。　
Like　any　fugitive；　I　couldn’t　help　looking　over　my　shoulder　a　few　times　while　I　jogged　to　my　truck；　but　the　
night　was　so　black　that　there　really　was　no　point。　I　had　to　feel　my　way　along　the　side　of　the　truck　to　the　
handle。　
My　eyes　were　just　beginning　to　adjust　as　I　shoved　my　keys　in　the　ignition。　I　twisted　them　hard　to　the　left；　
but　instead　of　roaring　deafeningly　to　life；　the　engine　just　clicked。　I　tried　it　again　with　the　same　results。　
And　then　a　small　motion　in　my　peripheral　vision　made　me　jump。　
“Gah！”　I　gasped　in　shock　when　I　saw　that　I　was　not　alone　in　the　cab。　

Edward　sat　very　still；　a　faint　bright　spot　in　the　darkness；　only　his　hands　moving　as　he　turned　a　mysterious　
black　object　around　and　around。　He　stared　at　the　object　as　he　spoke。　
“Alice　called；”　he　murmured。　
Alice！　Damn。　I’d　forgotten　to　account　for　her　in　my　plans。　He　must　have　her　watching　me。　
“She　got　nervous　when　your　future　rather　abruptly　disappeared　five　minutes　ago。”　
My　eyes；　already　wide　with　surprise；　popped　wider。　
“Because　she　can’t　see　the　wolves；　you　know；”　he　explained　in　the　same　low　murmur。　“Had　you　forgotten　
that？　When　you　decide　to　mingle　your　fate　with　theirs；　you　disappear；　too。　You　couldn’t　know　that　part；　I　
realize　that。　But　can　you　understand　why　that　might　make　me　a　little　。　。　。　anxious？　Alice　saw　you　disappear；　
and　she　couldn’t　even　tell　if　you’d　e　home　or　not。　Your　future　got　lost；　just　like　theirs。　
“We’re　not　sure　why　this　is。　Some　natural　defense　they’re　born　with？”　He　spoke　as　if　he　were　talking　to　
himself　now；　still　looking　at　the　piece　of　my　truck’s　engine　as　he　twirled　it　in　his　hands。　“That　doesn’t　seem　
entirely　likely；　since　I　haven’t　had　any　trouble　reading　their　thoughts。　The　Blacks’　at　least。　Carlisle　theorizes　
that　it’s　because　their　lives　are　so　ruled　by　their　transformations。　It’s　more　an　involuntary　reaction　than　a　
decision。　Utterly　unpredictable；　and　it　changes　everything　about　them。　In　that　instant　when　they　shift　from　one　
form　to　the　other；　they　don’t　really　even　exist。　The　future　can’t　hold　them。　。　。　。”　
I　listened　to　his　musing　in　stony　silence。　
“I’ll　put　your　car　back　together　in　time　for　school；　in　case　you’d　like　to　drive　yourself；”　he　assured　me　after　
a　minute。　
With　my　lips　mashed　together；　I　retrieved　my　keys　and　stiffly　climbed　out　of　the　truck。　
“Shut　your　window　if　you　want　me　to　stay　away　tonight。　I’ll　understand；”　he　whispered　just　before　I　
slammed　the　door。　
I　stomped　into　the　house；　slamming　that　door；　too。　
“What’s　wrong？”　Charlie　demanded　from　the　couch。　
“Truck　won’t　start；”　I　growled。　
“Want　me　to　look　at　it？”　
“No。　I’ll　try　it　in　the　morning。”　
“Want　to　use　my　car？”　
I　wasn’t　supposed　to　drive　his　police　cruiser。　Charlie　must　be　really　desperate　to　get　me　to　La　Push。　
Nearly　as　desperate　as　I　was。　
“No。　I’m　tired；”　I　grumbled。　“’Night。”　
I　stamped　my　way　up　the　stairs；　and　went　straight　to　my　window。　I　shoved　the　metal　frame　roughly　—　it　
crashed　shut　and　the　glass　trembled。　
I　stared　at　the　shivering　black　glass　for　a　long　moment；　until　it　was　still。　Then　I　sighed；　and　opened　the　
window　as　wide　as　it　would　go。　

3。　MOTIVES　


THE　SUN　WAS　SO　DEEPLY　BURIED　BEHIND　THE　CLOUDS　that　there　was　no　way　to　tell　if　it　had　set　or　not。　After　
the　long　flight　—　chasing　the　sun　westward　so　that　it　seemed　unmoving　in　the　sky　—　it　was　especially　
disorienting；　time　seemed　oddly　variable。　It　took　me　by　surprise　when　the　forest　gave　way　to　the　first　buildings；　
signaling　that　we　were　nearly　home。　
“You’ve　been　very　quiet；”　Edward　observed。　“Did　the　plane　make　you　sick？”　
“No；　I’m　okay。”　
“Are　you　sad　to　leave？”　
“More　relieved　than　sad；　I　think。”　
He　raised　one　eyebrow　at　me。　I　knew　it　was　useless　and　—　much　as　I　hated　to　admit　it　—　unnecessary　to　
ask　him　to　keep　his　eyes　on　the　road。　
“Renée　is　so　much　more　。　。　。　perceptive　than　Charlie　in　some　ways。　It　was　making　me　jumpy。”　
Edward　laughed。　“Your　mother　has　a　very　interesting　mind。　Almost　childlike；　but　very　insightful。　She　sees　
things　differently　than　other　people。”　
Insightful。　It　was　a　good　description　of　my　mother　—　when　she　was　paying　attention。　Most　of　the　time　
Renée　was　so　bewildered　by　her　own　life　that　she　didn’t　notice　much　else。　But　this　weekend　she’d　been　
paying　plenty　of　attention　to　me。　
Phil　was　busy　—　the　high　school　baseball　team　he　coached　was　in　the　playoffs　—　and　being　alone　with　
Edward　and　me　had　only　sharpened　Renée’s　focus。　As　soon　as　the　hugs　and　squeals　of　delight　were　out　of　the　
way；　Renée　began　to　watch。　And　as　she’d　watched；　her　wide　blue　eyes　had　bee　first　confused　and　then　
concerned。　
This　morning　we’d　gone　for　a　walk　along　the　beach。　She　wanted　to　show　off　all　the　beauties　of　her　new　
home；　still　hoping；　I　think；　that　the　sun　might　lure　me　away　from　Forks。　She’d　also　wanted　to　talk　with　me　
alone；　and　that　was　easily　arranged。　Edward　had　fabricated　a　term　paper　to　give　himself　an　excuse　to　stay　
indoors　during　the　day。　
In　my　head；　I　went　through　the　conversation　again。　。　。　。　
Renée　and　I　ambled　along　the　sidewalk；　trying　to　stay　in　the　range　of　the　infrequent　palm　tree　shadows。　
Though　it　was　early；　the　heat　was　smothering。　The　air　was　so　heavy　with　moisture　that　just　breathing　in　and　out　
was　giving　my　lungs　a　workout。　
“Bella？”　my　mother　asked；　looking　out　past　the　sand　to　the　lightly　crashing　waves　as　she　spoke。　
“What　is　it；　Mom？”　
She　sighed；　not　meeting　my　gaze。　“I’m　worried。　。　。　。”　
“What’s　wrong？”　I　asked；　anxious　at　once。　“What　can　I　do？”　
“It’s　not　me。”　She　shook　her　head。　“I’m　worried　about　you　。　。　。　and　Edward。”　
Renée　finally　looked　at　me　when　she　said　his　name；　her　face　apologetic。　
“Oh；”　I　mumbled；　fixing　my　eyes　on　a　pair　of　joggers　as　they　passed　us；　drenched　with　sweat。　
“You　two　are　more　serious　than　I’d　been　thinking；”　she　went　on。　
I　frowned；　quickly　reviewing　the　last　two　days　in　my　head。　Edward　and　I　had　barely　touched　—　in　front　of　
her；　at　least。　I　wondered　if　Renée　was　about　to　give　me　a　lecture　on　responsibility；　too。　I　didn’t　mind　that　the　
way　I　had　with　Charlie。　It　wasn’t　embarrassing　with　my　mom。　After　all；　I’d　been　the　one　giving　her　that　lecture　
time　and　time　again　in　the　last　ten　years。　
“There’s　something　。　。　。　strange　about　the　way　you　two　are　together；”　she　murmured；　her　forehead　
creasing　over　her　troubled　eyes。　“The　way　he　watches　you　—　it’s　so　。　。　。　protective。　Like　he’s　about　to　throw　
himse