3 eclipse月食-第79部分

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physically。　He　really　does　calm　your　system　down；　or　excite　it。　It’s　not　an　illusion。　And　I　see　visions　of　
outes；　not　the　reasons　and　thoughts　behind　the　decisions　that　create　them。　It’s　outside　the　mind；　not　an　
illusion；　either；　reality；　or　at　least　one　version　of　it。　But　Jane　and　Edward　and　Aro　and　Demetri　—　they　work　
inside　the　mind。　Jane　only　creates　an　illusion　of　pain。　She　doesn’t　really　hurt　your　body；　you　only　think　you　feel　
it。　You　see；　Bella？　You　are　safe　inside　your　mind。　No　one　can　reach　you　there。　It’s　no　wonder　that　Aro　was　
so　curious　about　your　future　abilities。”　
She　watched　my　face　to　see　if　I　was　following　her　logic。　In　truth；　her　words　had　all　started　to　run　together；　
the　syllables　and　sounds　losing　their　meaning。　I　couldn’t　concentrate　on　them。　Still；　I　nodded。　Trying　to　look　
like　I　got　it。　
She　wasn’t　fooled。　She　stroked　my　cheek　and　murmured；　“He’s　going　to　be　okay；　Bella。　I　don’t　need　a　
vision　to　know　that。　Are　you　ready　to　go？”　
“One　more　thing。　Can　I　ask　you　another　question　about　the　future？　I　don’t　want　specifics；　just　an　
overview。”　
“I’ll　do　my　best；”　she　said；　doubtful　again。　
“Can　you　still　see　me　being　a　vampire？”　
“Oh；　that’s　easy。　Sure；　I　do。”　
I　nodded　slowly。　
She　examined　my　face；　her　eyes　unfathomable。　“Don’t　you　know　your　own　mind；　Bella？”　
“I　do。　I　just　wanted　to　be　sure。”　
“I’m　only　as　sure　as　you　are；　Bella。　You　know　that。　If　you　were　to　change　your　mind；　what　I　see　would　
change　。　。　。　or　disappear；　in　your　case。”　
I　sighed。　“That　isn’t　going　to　happen；　though。”　
She　put　her　arms　around　me。　“I’m　sorry。　I　can’t　really　empathize。　My　first　memory　is　of　seeing　Jasper’s　
face　in　my　future；　I　always　knew　that　he　was　where　my　life　was　headed。　But　I　can　sympathize。　I’m　so　sorry　
you　have　to　choose　between　two　good　things。”　
I　shook　off　her　arms。　“Don’t　feel　sorry　for　me。”　There　were　people　who　deserved　sympathy。　I　wasn’t　one　
of　them。　And　there　wasn’t　any　choice　to　make　—　there　was　just　breaking　a　good　heart　to　attend　to　now。　“I’ll　
go　deal　with　Charlie。”　
I　drove　my　truck　home；　where　Charlie　was　waiting　just　as　suspiciously　as　Alice　had　expected。　
“Hey；　Bella。　How　was　your　shopping　trip？”　he　greeted　me　when　I　walked　into　the　kitchen。　He　had　his　
arms　folded　over　his　chest；　his　eyes　on　my　face。　
“Long；”　I　said　dully。　“We　just　got　back。”　
Charlie　assessed　my　mood。　“I　guess　you　already　heard　about　Jake；　then？”　

“Yes。　The　rest　of　the　Cullens　beat　us　home。　Esme　told　us　where　Carlisle　and　Edward　were。”　
“Are　you　okay？”　
“Worried　about　Jake。　As　soon　as　I　make　dinner；　I’m　going　down　to　La　Push。”　
“I　told　you　those　motorcycles　were　dangerous。　I　hope　this　makes　you　realize　that　I　wasn’t　kidding　
around。”　
I　nodded　as　I　started　pulling　things　out　of　the　fridge。　Charlie　settled　himself　in　at　the　table。　He　seemed　to　
be　in　a　more　talkative　mood　than　usual。　
“I　don’t　think　you　need　to　worry　about　Jake　too　much。　Anyone　who　can　cuss　with　that　kind　of　energy　is　
going　to　recover。”　
“Jake　was　awake　when　you　saw　him？”　I　asked；　spinning　to　look　at　him。　
“Oh；　yeah；　he　was　awake。　You　should　have　heard　him　—　actually；　it’s　better　you　didn’t。　I　don’t　think　
there　was　anyone　in　La　Push　who　couldn’t　hear　him。　I　don’t　know　where　he　picked　up　that　vocabulary；　but　I　
hope　he　hasn’t　been　using　that　kind　of　language　around　you。”　
“He　had　a　pretty　good　excuse　today。　How　did　he　look？”　
“Messed　up。　His　friends　carried　him　in。　Good　thing　they’re　big　boys；　’cause　that　kid’s　an　armful。　Carlisle　
said　his　right　leg　is　broken；　and　his　right　arm。　Pretty　much　the　whole　right　side　of　his　body　got　crushed　when　he　
wrecked　that　damn　bike。”　Charlie　shook　his　head。　“If　I　ever　hear　of　you　riding　again；　Bella　—”　
“No　problem　there；　Dad。　You　won’t。　Do　you　really　think　Jake’s　okay？”　
“Sure；　Bella；　don’t　worry。　He　was　himself　enough　to　tease　me。”　
“Tease　you？”　I　echoed　in　shock。　
“Yeah　—　in　between　insulting　somebody’s　mother　and　taking　the　Lord’s　name　in　vain；　he　said；　‘Bet　
you’re　glad　she　loves　Cullen　instead　of　me　today；　huh；　Charlie？’”　
I　turned　back　to　the　fridge　so　that　he　couldn’t　see　my　face。　
“And　I　couldn’t　argue。　Edward’s　more　mature　than　Jacob　when　it　es　to　your　safety；　I’ll　give　him　that　
much。”　
“Jacob’s　plenty　mature；”　I　muttered　defensively。　“I’m　sure　this　wasn’t　his　fault。”　
“Weird　day　today；”　Charlie　mused　after　a　minute。　“You　know；　I　don’t　put　much　stock　in　that　superstitious　
crap；　but　it　was　odd。　。　。　。　It　was　like　Billy　knew　something　bad　was　going　to　happen　to　Jake。　He　was　nervous　
as　a　turkey　on　Thanksgiving　all　morning。　I　don’t　think　he　heard　anything　I　said　to　him。　
“And　then；　weirder　than　that　—　remember　back　in　February　and　March　when　we　had　all　that　trouble　with　
the　wolves？”　
I　bent　down　to　get　a　frying　pan　out　of　the　cupboard；　and　hid　there　an　extra　second　or　two。　
“Yeah；”　I　mumbled。　
“I　hope　we’re　not　going　to　have　a　problem　with　that　again。　This　morning；　we　were　out　in　the　boat；　and　
Billy　wasn’t　paying　any　attention　to　me　or　the　fish；　when　all　of　a　sudden；　you　could　hear　wolves　yowling　in　the　
woods。　More　than　one；　and；　boy；　was　it　loud。　Sounded　like　they　were　right　there　in　the　village。　Weirdest　part　
was；　Billy　turned　the　boat　around　and　headed　straight　back　to　the　harbor　like　they　were　calling　to　him　
personally。　Didn’t　even　hear　me　ask　what　he　was　doing。　
“The　noise　stopped　before　we　got　the　boat　docked。　But　all　of　a　sudden　Billy　was　in　the　biggest　hurry　not　
to　miss　the　game；　though　we　had　hours　still。　He　was　mumbling　some　nonsense　about　an　earlier　showing　。　。　。　of　
a　live　game？　I　tell　you；　Bella；　it　was　odd。　
“Well；　he　found　some　game　he　said　he　wanted　to　watch；　but　then　he　just　ignored　it。　He　was　on　the　phone　
the　whole　time；　calling　Sue；　and　Emily；　and　your　friend　Quil’s　grandpa。　Couldn’t　quite　make　out　what　he　was　
looking　for　—　he　just　chatted　real　casual　with　them。　
“Then　the　howling　started　again　right　outside　the　house。　I’ve　never　heard　anything　like　it　—　I　had　goose　
bumps　on　my　arms。　I　asked　Billy　—　had　to　shout　over　the　noise　—　if　he’d　been　setting　traps　in　his　yard。　It　
sounded　like　the　animal　was　in　serious　pain。”　
I　winced；　but　Charlie　was　so　caught　up　in　his　story　that　he　didn’t　notice。　
“’Course　I　forgot　all　about　that　till　just　this　minute；　’cause　that’s　when　Jake　made　it　home。　One　minute　it　
was　that　wolf　yowling；　and　then　you　couldn’t　hear　it　anymore　—　Jake’s　cussing　drowned　it　right　out。　Got　a　set　
of　lungs　on　him；　that　boy　does。”　
Charlie　paused　for　a　minute；　his　face　thoughtful。　“Funny　that　some　good　should　e　out　of　this　mess。　I　

didn’t　think　they　were　ever　going　to　get　over　that　fool　prejudice　they　have　against　the　Cullens　down　there。　But　
somebody　called　Carlisle；　and　Billy　was　real　grateful　when　he　showed　up。　I　thought　we　should　get　Jake　up　to　
the　hospital；　but　Billy　wanted　to　keep　him　home；　and　Carlisle　agreed。　I　guess　Carlisle　knows　what’s　best。　
Generous　of　him　to　sign　up　for　such　a　long　stretch　of　house　calls。”　
　“And　。　。　。”　he　paused；　as　if　unwilling　to　say　something。　He　sighed；　and　then　continued。　“And　Edward　was　
really　。　。　。　nice。　He　seemed　as　worried　about　Jacob　as　you　are　—　like　that　was　his　brother　lying　there。　The　
look　in　his　eyes　。　。　。”　Charlie　shook　his　head。　“He’s　a　decent　guy；　Bella。　I’ll　try　to　remember　that。　No　
promises；　though。”　He　grinned　at　me。　
　“I　won’t　hold　you　to　it；”　I　mumbled。　
　Charlie　stretched　his　legs　and　groaned。　“It’s　nice　to　be　home。　You　wouldn’t　believe　how　crowded　Billy’s　
little　place　gets。　Seven　of　Jake’s　friends　all　squished　themselves　into　that　little　front　room　—　I　could　hardly　
breathe。　Have　you　ever　noticed　how　big　those　Quileute　kids　all　are？”　
　“Yeah；　I　have。”　
　Charlie　stared　at　me；　his　eyes　abruptly　more　focused。　“Really；　Bella；　Carlisle　said　Jake　will　be　up　and　
around　in　no　time。　Said　it　looked　a　lot　worse　than　it　was。　He’s　going　to　be　fine。”　
　I　just　nodded。　
　Jacob　had　looked　so　。　。　。　strangely　fragile　when　I’d　hurried　down　to　see　him　as　soon　as　Charlie　had　left。　
He’d　had　braces　everywhere　—　Carlisle　said　there　was　no　point　in　plaster；　as　fast　as　he　was　healing。　His　face　
had　been　pale　and　drawn；　deeply　unconscious　though　he　was　at　the　time。　Breakable。　Huge　as　he　was；　he’d　
looked　very　breakable。　Maybe　that　had　just　been　my　imagination；　coupled　with　the　knowledge　that　I　was　
going　to　have　to　break　him。　
　If　only　I　could　be　struck　by　lightning　and　be　split　in　two。　Preferably　painfully。　For　the　first　time；　giving　up　
being　human　felt　like　a　true　sacrifice。　Like　it　might　be　too　much　to　lose。　
　I　put　Charlie’s　dinner　on　the　table　next　to　his　elbow　and　headed　for　the　door。　
　“Er；　Bella？　Could　you　wait　just　a　second？”　
　“Did　I　forget　something？”　I　asked；　eyeing　his　plate。　
　“No；　no。　I　just　。　。　。　want　to　ask　a　favor。”　Charlie　frowned　and　looked　at　the　floor。　“Have　a　seat　—　this　
won’t　take　long。”　
　I　sat　across　from　him；　a　little　confused。　I　tried　to　focus。　“What　do　you　need；　Dad？”　
　“Here’s　the　gist　of　it；　Bella。”　Charlie　flushed。　“Maybe　I’m　just　feeling　。　。　。　superstitious　after　hanging　out　
with　Billy　while　he　was　being　so　strange　all　day。　But　I　have　this　。　。　。　hunch。　I　feel　like　。　。　。　I’m　going　to　lose　you　
soon。”　
　“Don’t　be　silly；　Dad；”　I　mumbled　guiltily。　“You　want　me　to　go　to　school；　don’t　you？”　
　“Just　promise　me　one　thing。”　
　I　was　hesitant；　ready　to　rescind。　“Okay　。　。　。”　
　“Will　you　tell　me　before　you　do　anything　major？　Before　you　run　off　with　him　or　something？”　
　“Dad　。　。　。　；”　I　moaned。　
　“I’m　serious。　I　won’t　kick　up　a　fuss。　Just　give　me　some　advance　notice。　Give　me　a　chance　to　hug　you　
goodbye。”　
　Cringing　mentally；　I　held　up　my　hand。　“This　is　silly。　But；　if　it　makes　you　happy；　。　。　。　I　promise。”　
　“Thanks；　Bella；”　he　said。　“I　love　you；　kid。”　
　“I　love　you；　too；　Dad。”　I　touched　his　shoulder；　and　then　shoved　away　from　the　table。　“If　you　need　
anything；　I’ll　be　at　Billy’s。”　
　I　didn’t　look　back　as　I　ran　out。　This　was　just　perfect；　just　what　I　needed　right　now。　I　grumbled　to　myself　
all　the　way　to　La　Push。　
　Carlisle’s　black　Mercedes　was　not　in　front　of　Billy’s