3 eclipse月食-第68部分

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four　possibilities。　The　first　alternative；　the　best　one　for　Bella；　would　be　if　she　didn’t　feel　as　strongly　for　me　—　if　
she　got　over　me　and　moved　on。　I　would　accept　that；　though　it　would　never　change　the　way　I　felt。　You　think　of　
me　as　a　。　。　。　living　stone　—　hard　and　cold。　That’s　true。　We　are　set　the　way　we　are；　and　it　is　very　rare　for　us　to　
experience　a　real　change。　When　that　happens；　as　when　Bella　entered　my　life；　it　is　a　permanent　change。　There’s　
no　going　back。　。　。　。　
“The　second　alternative；　the　one　I’d　originally　chosen；　was　to　stay　with　her　throughout　her　human　life。　It　
wasn’t　a　good　option　for　her；　to　waste　her　life　with　someone　who　couldn’t　be　human　with　her；　but　it　was　the　
alternative　I　could　most　easily　face。　Knowing　all　along　that；　when　she　died；　I　would　find　a　way　to　die；　too。　
Sixty　years；　seventy　years　—　it　would　seem　like　a　very；　very　short　time　to　me。　。　。　。　But　then　it　proved　much　
too　dangerous　for　her　to　live　in　such　close　proximity　with　my　world。　It　seemed　like　everything　that　could　go　
wrong　did。　Or　hung　over　us　。　。　。　waiting　to　go　wrong。　I　was　terrified　that　I　wouldn’t　get　those　sixty　years　if　I　
stayed　near　her　while　she　was　human。　
“So　I　chose　option　three。　Which　turned　out　to　be　the　worst　mistake　of　my　very　long　life；　as　you　know。　I　

chose　to　take　myself　out　of　her　world；　hoping　to　force　her　into　the　first　alternative。　It　didn’t　work；　and　it　very　
nearly　killed　us　both。　
“What　do　I　have　left　but　the　fourth　option？　It’s　what　she　wants　—　at　least；　she　thinks　she　does。　I’ve　been　
trying　to　delay　her；　to　give　her　time　to　find　a　reason　to　change　her　mind；　but　she’s　very　。　。　。　stubborn。　You　
know　that。　I’ll　be　lucky　to　stretch　this　out　a　few　more　months。　She　has　a　horror　of　getting　older；　and　her　
birthday　is　in　September。　。　。　。”　
“I　like　option　one；”　Jacob　muttered。　
Edward　didn’t　respond。　
“You　know　exactly　how　much　I　hate　to　accept　this；”　Jacob　whispered　slowly；　“but　I　can　see　that　you　do　
love　her　。　。　。　in　your　way。　I　can’t　argue　with　that　anymore。　
“Given　that；　I　don’t　think　you　should　give　up　on　the　first　alternative；　not　yet。　I　think　there’s　a　very　good　
chance　that　she　would　be　okay。　After　time。　You　know；　if　she　hadn’t　jumped　off　a　cliff　in　March　。　。　。　and　if　
you’d　waited　another　six　months　to　check　on　her。　。　。　。　Well；　you　might　have　found　her　reasonably　happy。　I　had　
a　game　plan。”　
Edward　chuckled。　“Maybe　it　would　have　worked。　It　was　a　well　thoughtout　plan。”　
“Yeah。”　Jake　sighed。　“But　。　。　。　；”　suddenly　he　was　whispering　so　fast　the　words　got　tangled；　“give　me　a　
year；　bl　—　Edward。　I　really　think　I　could　make　her　happy。　She’s　stubborn；　no　one　knows　that　better　than　I　
do；　but　she’s　capable　of　healing。　She　would　have　healed　before。　And　she　could　be　human；　with　Charlie　and　
Renée；　and　she　could　grow　up；　and　have　kids　and　。　。　。　be　Bella。　
“You　love　her　enough　that　you　have　to　see　the　advantages　of　that　plan。　She　thinks　you’re　very　unselfish　。　。　
。　are　you　really？　Can　you　consider　the　idea　that　I　might　be　better　for　her　than　you　are？”　
“I　have　considered　it；”　Edward　answered　quietly。　“In　some　ways；　you　would　be　better　suited　for　her　than　
another　human。　Bella　takes　some　looking　after；　and　you’re　strong　enough　that　you　could　protect　her　from　
herself；　and　from　everything　that　conspires　against　her。　You　have　done　that　already；　and　I’ll　owe　you　for　that　
for　as　long　as　I　live　—　forever　—　whichever　es　first。　。　。　。　
“I　even　asked　Alice　if　she　could　see　that　—　see　if　Bella　would　be　better　off　with　you。　She　couldn’t；　of　
course。　She　can’t　see　you；　and　then　Bella’s　sure　of　her　course；　for　now。　
“But　I’m　not　stupid　enough　to　make　the　same　mistake　I　made　before；　Jacob。　I　won’t　try　to　force　her　into　
that　first　option　again。　As　long　as　she　wants　me；　I’m　here。”　
“And　if　she　were　to　decide　that　she　wanted　me？”　Jacob　challenged。　“Okay；　it’s　a　long　shot；　I’ll　give　you　
that。”　
“I　would　let　her　go。”　
“Just　like　that？”　
“In　the　sense　that　I’d　never　show　her　how　hard　it　was　for　me；　yes。　But　I　would　keep　watch。　You　see；　
Jacob；　you　might　leave　her　someday。　Like　Sam　and　Emily；　you　wouldn’t　have　a　choice。　I　would　always　be　
waiting　in　the　wings；　hoping　for　that　to　happen。”　
Jacob　snorted　quietly。　“Well；　you’ve　been　much　more　honest　than　I　had　any　right　to　expect　。　。　。　Edward。　
Thanks　for　letting　me　in　your　head。”　
“As　I　said；　I’m　feeling　oddly　grateful　for　your　presence　in　her　life　tonight。　It　was　the　least　I　could　do。　。　。　。　
You　know；　Jacob；　if　it　weren’t　for　the　fact　that　we’re　natural　enemies　and　that　you’re　also　trying　to　steal　away　
the　reason　for　my　existence；　I　might　actually　like　you。”　
“Maybe　。　。　。　if　you　weren’t　a　disgusting　vampire　who　was　planning　to　suck　out　the　life　of　the　girl　I　love　。　。　。　
well；　no；　not　even　then。”　
Edward　chuckled。　
“Can　I　ask　you　something？”　Edward　said　after　a　moment。　
“Why　would　you　have　to　ask？”　
“I　can　only　hear　if　you　think　of　it。　It’s　just　a　story　that　Bella　seemed　reluctant　to　tell　me　about　the　other　
day。　Something　about　a　third　wife　。　。　。　？”　
“What　about　it？”　
Edward　didn’t　answer；　listening　to　the　story　in　Jacob’s　head。　I　heard　his　low　hiss　in　the　darkness。　
“What？”　Jacob　demanded　again。　
“Of　course；”　Edward　seethed。　“Of　course！　I　rather　wish　your　elders　had　kept　that　story　to　themselves；　

Jacob。”　
　　　“You　don’t　like　the　leeches　being　painted　as　the　bad　guys？”　Jacob　mocked。　“You　know；　they　are。　Then　
and　now。”　
　　　“I　really　couldn’t　care　less　about　that　part。　Can’t　you　guess　which　character　Bella　would　identify　with？”　
　　　It　took　Jacob　a　minute。　“Oh。　Ugh。　The　third　wife。　Okay；　I　see　your　point。”　
　　　“She　wants　to　be　there　in　the　clearing。　To　do　what　little　she　can；　as　she　puts　it。”　He　sighed。　“That　was　the　
secondary　reason　for　my　staying　with　her　tomorrow。　She’s　quite　inventive　when　she　wants　something。”　
　　　“You　know；　your　military　brother　gave　her　the　idea　just　as　much　as　the　story　did。”　
　　　“Neither　side　meant　any　harm；”　Edward　whispered；　peacemaking　now。　
　　　“And　when　does　this　little　truce　end？”　Jacob　asked。　“First　light？　Or　do　we　wait　until　after　the　fight？”　
　　　There　was　a　pause　as　they　both　considered。　
　　　“First　light；”　they　whispered　together；　and　then　laughed　quietly。　
　　　“Sleep　well；　Jacob；”　Edward　murmured。　“Enjoy　the　moment。”　
　　　It　was　quiet　again；　and　the　tent　held　still　for　a　few　minutes。　The　wind　seemed　to　have　decided　that　it　wasn’t　
going　to　flatten　us　after　all；　and　was　giving　up　the　fight。　
　　　Edward　groaned　softly。　“I　didn’t　mean　that　quite　so　literally。”　
　　　“Sorry；”　Jacob　whispered。　“You　could　leave；　you　know　—　give　us　a　little　privacy。”　
　　　“Would　you　like　me　to　help　you　sleep；　Jacob？”　Edward　offered。　
　　　“You　could　try；”　Jacob　said；　unconcerned。　“It　would　be　interesting　to　see　who　walked　away；　wouldn’t　it？”　
　　　“Don’t　tempt　me　too　far；　wolf。　My　patience　isn’t　that　perfect。”　
　　　Jacob　whispered　a　laugh。　“I’d　rather　not　move　just　now；　if　you　don’t　mind。”　
　　　Edward　started　humming　to　himself；　louder　than　usual　—　trying　to　drown　out　Jacob’s　thoughts；　I　assumed。　
But　it　was　my　lullaby　he　hummed；　and；　despite　my　growing　disfort　with　this　whispered　dream；　I　sank　
deeper　into　unconsciousness　。　。　。　into　other　dreams　that　made　better　sense。　。　。　。　

23。　MONSTER　


WHEN　I　WOKE　UP　IN　THE　MORNING；　IT　WAS　VERY　bright　—　even　inside　the　tent；　the　sunlight　hurt　my　eyes。　And　
I　was　sweating；　as　Jacob　had　predicted。　Jacob　was　snoring　lightly　in　my　ear；　his　arms　still　wrapped　around　
me。　
I　pulled　my　head　away　from　his　feverishly　warm　chest　and　felt　the　sting　of　the　cold　morning　on　my　clammy　
cheek。　Jacob　sighed　in　his　sleep；　his　arms　tightened　unconsciously。　
I　squirmed；　unable　to　loosen　his　hold；　struggling　to　lift　my　head　enough　to　see。　。　。　。　
Edward　met　my　gaze　evenly。　His　expression　was　calm；　but　the　pain　in　his　eyes　was　unconcealed。　
“Is　it　any　warmer　out　there？”　I　whispered。　
“Yes。　I　don’t　think　the　space　heater　will　be　necessary　today。”　
I　tried　to　get　to　the　zipper；　but　I　couldn’t　free　my　arms。　I　strained；　fighting　against　Jacob’s　inert　strength。　
Jacob　muttered；　still　fast　asleep；　his　arms　constricting　again。　
“Some　help？”　I　asked　quietly。　
Edward　smiled。　“Did　you　want　me　to　take　his　arms　all　the　way　off？”　
“No；　thank　you。　Just　get　me　free。　I’m　going　to　get　heat　stroke。”　
Edward　unzipped　the　sleeping　bag　in　a　swift；　abrupt　movement。　Jacob　fell　out；　his　bare　back　hitting　the　icy　
floor　of　the　tent。　
“Hey！”　he　plained；　his　eyes　flying　open。　Instinctively；　he　flinched　away　from　the　cold；　rolling　onto　me。　I　
gasped　as　his　weight　knocked　the　breath　out　of　me。　
And　then　his　weight　was　gone。　I　felt　the　impact　as　Jacob　flew　into　one　of　the　tent　poles　and　the　tent　
shuddered。　
The　growling　erupted　from　all　around。　Edward　was　crouching　in　front　of　me；　and　I　couldn’t　see　his　face；　
but　the　snarls　were　ripping　angrily　out　of　his　chest。　Jacob　was　halfcrouched；　too；　his　whole　body　quivering；　
while　growls　rumbled　through　his　clenched　teeth。　Outside　the　tent；　Seth　Clearwater’s　vicious　snarls　echoed　off　
the　rocks。　
“Stop　it；　stop　it！”　I　yelled；　scrambling　awkwardly　to　put　myself　between　them。　The　space　was　so　small　that　
I　didn’t　have　to　stretch　far　to　put　one　hand　on　each　of　their　chests。　Edward　wrapped　his　hand　around　my　
waist；　ready　to　yank　me　out　of　the　way。　
“Stop　it；　now；”　I　warned　him。　
Under　my　touch；　Jacob　began　to　calm　himself。　The　shaking　slowed；　but　his　teeth　were　still　bared；　his　eyes　
furiously　focused　on　Edward。　Seth　continued　to　growl；　a　long　unbroken　sound；　a　violent　background　to　the　
sudden　silence　in　the　tent。　
“Jacob？”　I　asked；　waiting　until　he　finally　dropped　his　glare　to　look　at　me。　“Are　you　hurt？”　
“Of　course　not！”　he　hissed。　
I　turned　to　Edward。　He　was　looking　at　me；　his　expression　hard　and　angry。　“That　wasn’t　nice。　You　should　
say　sorry。”　
His　eyes　widened　in　disgust。　“You　must　be　joking　—　he　was　crushing　you！”　
“Because　you　dumped　him　on　the　floor！　He　didn’t　do　it　on　purpose；　and　he　didn’t　hurt　me。”　
Edward　groaned；　revolted。　Slowly；　he　looked　up　to　glare　at　Jacob　with　hostile　eyes。　“My　apologies；　dog。”　
“No　harm　done；”　Jac