3 eclipse月食-第47部分

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He　sighed。　“They’re　betting　on　how　many　times　you　。　。　。　slip　up　in　the　first　year。”　
“Oh。”　I　grimaced；　trying　to　hide　my　sudden　horror　as　I　realized　what　he　meant。　“They　have　a　bet　about　
how　many　people　I’ll　kill？”　
“Yes；”　he　admitted　unwillingly。　“Rosalie　thinks　your　temper　will　turn　the　odds　in　Jasper’s　favor。”　
I　felt　a　little　high。　“Jasper’s　betting　high。”　
“It　will　make　him　feel　better　if　you　have　a　hard　time　adjusting。　He’s　tired　of　being　the　weakest　link。”　
“Sure。　Of　course　it　will。　I　guess　I　could　throw　in　a　few　extra　homicides；　if　it　makes　Jasper　happy。　Why　
not？”　I　was　babbling；　my　voice　a　blank　monotone。　In　my　head；　I　was　seeing　newspaper　headlines；　lists　of　
names。　。　。　。　
He　squeezed　me。　“You　don’t　need　to　worry　about　it　now。　In　fact；　you　don’t　have　to　worry　about　it　ever；　if　

you　don’t　want　to。”　
I　groaned；　and　Edward；　thinking　it　was　the　pain　in　my　hand　that　bothered　me；　pulled　me　faster　toward　the　
house。　
My　hand　was　broken；　but　there　wasn’t　any　serious　damage；　just　a　tiny　fissure　in　one　knuckle。　I　didn’t　
want　a　cast；　and　Carlisle　said　I’d　be　fine　in　a　brace　if　I　promised　to　keep　it　on。　I　promised。　
Edward　could　tell　I　was　out　of　it　as　Carlisle　worked　to　fit　a　brace　carefully　to　my　hand。　He　worried　aloud　
a　few　times　that　I　was　in　pain；　but　I　assured　him　that　that　wasn’t　it。　
As　if　I　needed　—　or　even　had　room　for　—　one　more　thing　to　worry　about。　
All　of　Jasper’s　stories　about　newly　created　vampires　had　been　percolating　in　my　head　since　he’d　explained　
his　past。　Now　those　stories　jumped　into　sharp　focus　with　the　news　of　his　and　Emmett’s　wager。　I　wondered　
randomly　what　they　were　betting。　What　was　a　motivating　prize　when　you　had　everything？　
I’d　always　known　that　I　would　be　different。　I　hoped　that　I　would　be　as　strong　as　Edward　said　I　would　be。　
Strong　and　fast　and；　most　of　all；　beautiful。　Someone　who　could　stand　next　to　Edward　and　feel　like　she　
belonged　there。　
I’d　been　trying　not　to　think　too　much　about　the　other　things　that　I　would　be。　Wild。　Bloodthirsty。　Maybe　I　
would　not　be　able　to　stop　myself　from　killing　people。　Strangers；　people　who　had　never　harmed　me。　People　
like　the　growing　number　of　victims　in　Seattle；　who’d　had　families　and　friends　and　futures。　People　who’d　had　
lives。　And　I　could　be　the　monster　who　took　that　away　from　them。　
But；　in　truth；　I　could　handle　that　part　—　because　I　trusted　Edward；　trusted　him　absolutely；　to　keep　me　
from　doing　anything　I　would　regret。　I　knew　he’d　take　me　to　Antarctica　and　hunt　penguins　if　I　asked　him　to。　
And　I　would　do　whatever　it　took　to　be　a　good　person。　A　good　vampire。　That　thought　would　have　made　me　
giggle；　if　not　for　this　new　worry。　
Because；　if　I　really　were　somehow　like　that　—　like　the　nightmarish　images　of　newborns　that　Jasper　had　
painted　in　my　head　—　could　I　possibly　be　me？　And　if　all　I　wanted　was　to　kill　people；　what　would　happen　to　
the　things　I　wanted　now？　
Edward　was　so　obsessed　with　me　not　missing　anything　while　I　was　human。　Usually；　it　seemed　kind　of　silly。　
There　weren’t　many　human　experiences　that　I　worried　about　missing。　As　long　as　I　got　to　be　with　Edward；　
what　else　could　I　ask　for？　
I　stared　at　his　face　while　he　watched　Carlisle　fix　my　hand。　There　was　nothing　in　this　world　that　I　wanted　
more　than　him。　Would　that；　could　that；　change？　
Was　there　a　human　experience　that　I　was　not　willing　to　give　up？　

16。　EPOCH　


“I　HAVE　NOTHING　TO　WEAR！”　I　MOANED　TO　MYSELF。　
　Every　item　of　clothing　I　owned　was　strewn　across　my　bed；　my　drawers　and　closets　were　bare。　I　stared　
into　the　empty　recesses；　willing　something　suitable　to　appear。　
　My　khaki　skirt　lay　over　the　back　of　the　rocking　chair；　waiting　for　me　to　discover　something　that　went　with　
it　just　exactly　right。　Something　that　would　make　me　look　beautiful　and　grown　up。　Something　that　said　special　
occasion。　I　was　ing　up　empty。　
　It　was　almost　time　to　go；　and　I　was　still　wearing　my　favorite　old　sweats。　Unless　I　could　find　something　
better　here　—　and　the　odds　weren’t　looking　good　at　this　point　—　I　was　going　to　graduate　in　them。　
　I　scowled　at　the　pile　of　clothes　on　my　bed。　
　The　kicker　was　that　I　knew　exactly　what　I　would　have　worn　if　it　were　still　available　—　my　kidnapped　red　
blouse。　I　punched　the　wall　with　my　good　hand。　
　“Stupid；　thieving；　annoying　vampire！”　I　growled。　
　“What　did　I　do？”　Alice　demanded。　
　She　was　leaning　casually　beside　the　open　window　as　if　she’d　been　there　the　whole　time。　
　“Knock；　knock；”　she　added　with　a　grin。　
　“Is　it　really　so　hard　to　wait　for　me　to　get　the　door？”　
　She　threw　a　flat；　white　box　onto　my　bed。　“I’m　just　passing　through。　I　thought　you　might　need　something　to　
wear。”　
　I　looked　at　the　big　package　lying　on　top　of　my　unsatisfying　wardrobe　and　grimaced。　
　“Admit　it；”　Alice　said。　“I’m　a　lifesaver。”　
　“You’re　a　lifesaver；”　I　muttered。　“Thanks。”　
　“Well；　it’s　nice　to　get　something　right　for　a　change。　You　don’t　know　how　irritating　it　is　—　missing　things　
the　way　I　have　been。　I　feel　so　useless。　So　。　。　。　normal。”　She　cringed　in　horror　of　the　word。　
　“I　can’t　imagine　how　awful　that　must　feel。　Being　normal？　Ugh。”　
　She　laughed。　“Well；　at　least　this　makes　up　for　missing　your　annoying　thief　—　now　I　just　have　to　figure　out　
what　I’m　not　seeing　in　Seattle。”　
　When　she　said　the　words　that　way　—　putting　the　two　situations　together　in　one　sentence　—　right　then　it　
clicked。　The　elusive　something　that　had　been　bothering　me　for　days；　the　important　connection　that　I　couldn’t　
quite　put　together；　suddenly　became　clear。　I　stared　at　her；　my　face　frozen　with　whatever　expression　was　
already　in　place。　
　“Aren’t　you　going　to　open　it？”　she　asked。　She　sighed　when　I　didn’t　move　immediately；　and　tugged　the　top　
of　the　box　off　herself。　She　pulled　something　out　and　held　it　up；　but　I　couldn’t　concentrate　on　what　it　was。　
“Pretty；　don’t　you　think？　I　picked　blue；　because　I　know　it’s　Edward’s　favorite　on　you。”　
　I　wasn’t　listening。　
　“It’s　the　same；”　I　whispered。　
　“What　is？”　she　demanded。　“You　don’t　have　anything　like　this。　For　crying　out　loud；　you　only　own　one　
skirt！”　
　“No；　Alice！　Forget　the　clothes；　listen！”　
　“You　don’t　like　it？”　Alice’s　face　clouded　with　disappointment。　
　“Listen；　Alice；　don’t　you　see？　It’s　the　same！　The　one　who　broke　in　and　stole　my　things；　and　the　new　
vampires　in　Seattle。　They’re　together！”　
　The　clothes　slipped　from　her　fingers　and　fell　back　into　the　box。　
　Alice　focused　now；　her　voice　suddenly　sharp。　“Why　do　you　think　that？”　
　“Remember　what　Edward　said？　About　someone　using　the　holes　in　your　vision　to　keep　you　from　seeing　the　
newborns？　And　then　what　you　said　before；　about　the　timing　being　too　perfect　—　how　careful　my　thief　was　to　
make　no　contact；　as　if　he　knew　you　would　see　that。　I　think　you　were　right；　Alice；　I　think　he　did　know。　I　think　
he　was　using　those　holes；　too。　And　what　are　the　odds　that　two　different　people　not　only　know　enough　about　

you　to　do　that；　but　also　decided　to　do　it　at　exactly　the　same　time？　No　way。　It’s　one　person。　The　same　one。　
The　one　who　is　making　the　army　is　the　one　who　stole　my　scent。”　
　　　Alice　wasn’t　accustomed　to　being　taking　by　surprise。　She　froze；　and　was　still　for　so　long　that　I　started　
counting　in　my　head　as　I　waited。　She　didn’t　move　for　two　minutes　straight。　Then　her　eyes　refocused　on　me。　
　　　“You’re　right；”　she　said　in　a　hollow　tone。　“Of　course　you’re　right。　And　when　you　put　it　that　way。　。　。　。”　
　　　“Edward　had　it　wrong；”　I　whispered。　“It　was　a　test　。　。　。　to　see　if　it　would　work。　If　he　could　get　in　and　out　
safely　as　long　as　he　didn’t　do　anything　you　would　be　watching　out　for。　Like　trying　to　kill　me。　。　。　。　And　he　didn’t　
take　my　things　to　prove　he’d　found　me。　He　stole　my　scent　。　。　。　so　that　others　could　find　me。”　
　　　Her　eyes　were　wide　with　shock。　I　was　right；　and　I　could　see　that　she　knew　it；　too。　
　　　“Oh；　no；”　she　mouthed。　
　　　I　was　through　expecting　my　emotions　to　make　sense　anymore。　As　I　processed　the　fact　that　someone　had　
created　an　army　of　vampires　—　the　army　that　had　gruesomely　murdered　dozens　of　people　in　Seattle　—　for　the　
express　purpose　of　destroying　me；　I　felt　a　spasm　of　relief。　
　　　Part　of　it　was　finally　solving　that　irritating　feeling　that　I　was　missing　something　vital。　
　　　But　the　larger　part　was　something　else　entirely。　
　　　“Well；”　I　whispered；　“everyone　can　relax。　Nobody’s　trying　to　exterminate　the　Cullens　after　all。”　
　　　“If　you　think　that　one　thing　has　changed；　you’re　absolutely　wrong；”　Alice　said　through　her　teeth。　“If　
someone　wants　one　of　us；　they’re　going　to　have　to　go　through　the　rest　of　us　to　get　to　her。”　
　　　“Thanks；　Alice。　But　at　least　we　know　what　they’re　really　after。　That　has　to　help。”　
　　　“Maybe；”　she　muttered。　She　started　pacing　back　and　forth　across　my　room。　
　　　Thud；　thud　—　a　fist　hammered　against　my　door。　
　　　I　jumped。　Alice　didn’t　seem　to　notice。　
　　　“Aren’t　you　ready　yet？　We’re　gonna　be　late！”　Charlie　plained；　sounding　edgy。　Charlie　hated　
occasions　about　as　much　as　I　did。　In　his　case；　a　lot　of　the　problem　was　having　to　dress　up。　
　　　“Almost。　Give　me　a　minute；”　I　said　hoarsely。　
　　　He　was　quiet　for　half　a　second。　“Are　you　crying？”　
　　　“No。　I’m　nervous。　Go　away。”　
　　　I　heard　him　clump　down　the　stairs。　
　　　“I　have　to　go；”　Alice　whispered。　
　　　“Why？”　
　　　“Edward　is　ing。　If　he　hears　this　。　。　。”　
　　　“Go；　go！”　I　urged　immediately。　Edward　would　go　berserk　when　he　knew。　I　couldn’t　keep　it　from　him　for　
long；　but　maybe　the　graduation　ceremony　wasn’t　the　best　time　for　his　reaction。　
　　　“Put　it　on；”　Alice　manded　as　she　flitted　out　the　window。　
　　　I　did　what　she　said；　dressing　in　a　daze。　
　　　I’d　been　planning　to　do　something　more　sophisticated　with　my　hair；　but　time　was　up；　so　it　hung　straight　
and　boring　as　on　any　other　day。　It　didn’t　matter。　I　didn’t　bother　to　look　in　the　mirror；　so　I　had　no　idea　how　
Alice’s　sweater　and　skirt　ensemble　worked。　That　didn’t　matter；　either。　I　threw　the　ugly　yellow　polyester　
graduation　robe　over　my　arm　and　hurried　down　the　stairs。　
　　　“You　look　nice；”　Charlie　said；　already　gruff　with　suppressed　emotion。　“Is　that　new？”　
　　　“Yeah；”　I　mumbled；　trying　to　concentrate。　“Alice　g