3 eclipse月食-第4部分

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Anything　more　than　correspondence　school　was　out　of　the　question。　
“I　thought　the　timing　was　still　undecided；”　Edward　reminded　me　softly。　“You　might　enjoy　a　semester　or　
two　of　college。　There　are　a　lot　of　human　experiences　you’ve　never　had。”　
“I’ll　get　to　those　afterward。”　
“They　won’t　be　human　experiences　afterward。　You　don’t　get　a　second　chance　at　humanity；　Bella。”　
I　sighed。　“You’ve　got　to　be　reasonable　about　the　timing；　Edward。　It’s　just　too　dangerous　to　mess　around　
with。”　
“There’s　no　danger　yet；”　he　insisted。　
I　glared　at　him。　No　danger？　Sure。　I　only　had　a　sadistic　vampire　trying　to　avenge　her　mate’s　death　with　my　
own；　preferably　through　some　slow　and　torturous　method。　Who　was　worried　about　Victoria？　And；　oh　yeah；　
the　Volturi　—　the　vampire　royal　family　with　their　small　army　of　vampire　warriors　—　who　insisted　that　my　heart　
stop　beating　one　way　or　another　in　the　near　future；　because　humans　weren’t　allowed　to　know　they　existed。　
Right。　No　reason　at　all　to　panic。　
Even　with　Alice　keeping　watch　—　Edward　was　relying　on　her　uncannily　accurate　visions　of　the　future　to　
give　us　advance　warning　—　it　was　insane　to　take　chances。　
Besides；　I’d　already　won　this　argument。　The　date　for　my　transformation　was　tentatively　set　for　shortly　after　
my　graduation　from　high　school；　only　a　handful　of　weeks　away。　
A　sharp　jolt　of　unease　pierced　my　stomach　as　I　realized　how　short　the　time　really　was。　Of　course　this　
change　was　necessary　—　and　the　key　to　what　I　wanted　more　than　everything　else　in　the　world　put　together　—　
but　I　was　deeply　conscious　of　Charlie　sitting　in　the　other　room　enjoying　his　game；　just　like　every　other　night。　
And　my　mother；　Renée；　far　away　in　sunny　Florida；　still　pleading　with　me　to　spend　the　summer　on　the　beach　
with　her　and　her　new　husband。　And　Jacob；　who；　unlike　my　parents；　would　know　exactly　what　was　going　on　
when　I　disappeared　to　some　distant　school。　Even　if　my　parents　didn’t　grow　suspicious　for　a　long　time；　even　if　I　
could　put　off　visits　with　excuses　about　travel　expenses　or　study　loads　or　illnesses；　Jacob　would　know　the　truth。　
For　a　moment；　the　idea　of　Jacob’s　certain　revulsion　overshadowed　every　other　pain。　
“Bella；”　Edward　murmured；　his　face　twisting　when　he　read　the　distress　in　mine。　“There’s　no　hurry。　I　won’t　
let　anyone　hurt　you。　You　can　take　all　the　time　you　need。”　
“I　want　to　hurry；”　I　whispered；　smiling　weakly；　trying　to　make　a　joke　of　it。　“I　want　to　be　a　monster；　too。”　
His　teeth　clenched；　he　spoke　through　them。　“You　have　no　idea　what　you’re　saying。”　Abruptly；　he　flung　the　
damp　newspaper　onto　the　table　in　between　us。　His　finger　stabbed　the　headline　on　the　front　page：　


　　　DEATH　TOLL　ON　THE　RISE；　POLICE　FEAR　GANG　ACTIVITY　

“What　does　that　have　to　do　with　anything？”　
“Monsters　are　not　a　joke；　Bella。”　

I　stared　at　the　headline　again；　and　then　up　to　his　hard　expression。　“A　。　。　。　a　vampire　is　doing　this？”　I　
whispered。　
He　smiled　without　humor。　His　voice　was　low　and　cold。　“You’d　be　surprised；　Bella；　at　how　often　my　kind　
are　the　source　behind　the　horrors　in　your　human　news。　It’s　easy　to　recognize；　when　you　know　what　to　look　
for。　The　information　here　indicates　a　newborn　vampire　is　loose　in　Seattle。　Bloodthirsty；　wild；　out　of　control。　
The　way　we　all　were。”　
I　let　my　gaze　drop　to　the　paper　again；　avoiding　his　eyes。　
“We’ve　been　monitoring　the　situation　for　a　few　weeks。　All　the　signs　are　there　—　the　unlikely　
disappearances；　always　in　the　night；　the　poorly　disposedof　corpses；　the　lack　of　other　evidence。　。　。　。　Yes；　
someone　brandnew。　And　no　one　seems　to　be　taking　responsibility　for　the　neophyte。　。　。　。”　He　took　a　deep　
breath。　“Well；　it’s　not　our　problem。　We　wouldn’t　even　pay　attention　to　the　situation　if　wasn’t　going　on　so　close　
to　home。　Like　I　said；　this　happens　all　the　time。　The　existence　of　monsters　results　in　monstrous　consequences。”　
I　tried　not　to　see　the　names　on　the　page；　but　they　jumped　out　from　the　rest　of　the　print　like　they　were　in　
bold。　The　five　people　whose　lives　were　over；　whose　families　were　mourning　now。　It　was　different　from　
considering　murder　in　the　abstract；　reading　those　names。　Maureen　Gardiner；　Geoffrey　Campbell；　Grace　Razi；　
Michelle　O’Connell；　Ronald　Albrook。　People　who’d　had　parents　and　children　and　friends　and　pets　and　jobs　
and　hopes　and　plans　and　memories　and　futures。　。　。　。　
“It　won’t　be　the　same　for　me；”　I　whispered；　half　to　myself。　“You　won’t　let　me　be　like　that。　We’ll　live　in　
Antarctica。”　
Edward　snorted；　breaking　the　tension。　“Penguins。　Lovely。”　
I　laughed　a　shaky　laugh　and　knocked　the　paper　off　the　table　so　I　wouldn’t　have　to　see　those　names；　it　hit　
the　linoleum　with　a　thud。　Of　course　Edward　would　consider　the　hunting　possibilities。　He　and　his　“vegetarian”　
family　—　all　mitted　to　protecting　human　life　—　preferred　the　flavor　of　large　predators　for　satisfying　their　
dietary　needs。　“Alaska；　then；　as　planned。　Only　somewhere　much　more　remote　than　Juneau　—　somewhere　
with　grizzlies　galore。”　
“Better；”　he　allowed。　“There　are　polar　bears；　too。　Very　fierce。　And　the　wolves　get　quite　large。”　
My　mouth　fell　open　and　my　breath　blew　out　in　a　sharp　gust。　
“What’s　wrong？”　he　asked。　Before　I　could　recover；　the　confusion　vanished　and　his　whole　body　seemed　to　
harden。　“Oh。　Never　mind　the　wolves；　then；　if　the　idea　is　offensive　to　you。”　His　voice　was　stiff；　formal；　his　
shoulders　rigid。　
“He　was　my　best　friend；　Edward；”　I　muttered。　It　stung　to　use　the　past　tense。　“Of　course　the　idea　offends　
me。”　
“Please　forgive　my　thoughtlessness；”　he　said；　still　very　formal。　“I　shouldn’t　have　suggested　that。”　
“Don’t　worry　about　it。”　I　stared　at　my　hands；　clenched　into　a　double　fist　on　the　table。　
We　were　both　silent　for　a　moment；　and　then　his　cool　finger　was　under　my　chin；　coaxing　my　face　up。　His　
expression　was　much　softer　now。　
“Sorry。　Really。”　
“I　know。　I　know　it’s　not　the　same　thing。　I　shouldn’t　have　reacted　that　way。　It’s　just　that　。　。　。　well；　I　was　
already　thinking　about　Jacob　before　you　came　over。”　I　hesitated。　His　tawny　eyes　seemed　to　get　a　little　bit　
darker　whenever　I　said　Jacob’s　name。　My　voice　turned　pleading　in　response。　“Charlie　says　Jake　is　having　a　
hard　time。　He’s　hurting　right　now；　and　。　。　。　it’s　my　fault。”　
“You’ve　done　nothing　wrong；　Bella。”　
I　took　a　deep　breath。　“I　need　to　make　it　better；　Edward。　I　owe　him　that。　And　it’s　one　of　Charlie’s　
conditions；　anyway　—”　
His　face　changed　while　I　spoke；　turning　hard　again；　statuelike。　
“You　know　it’s　out　of　the　question　for　you　to　be　around　a　werewolf　unprotected；　Bella。　And　it　would　
break　the　treaty　if　any　of　us　cross　over　onto　their　land。　Do　you　want　us　to　start　a　war？”　
“Of　course　not！”　
“Then　there’s　really　no　point　in　discussing　the　matter　further。”　He　dropped　his　hand　and　looked　away；　
searching　for　a　subject　change。　His　eyes　paused　on　something　behind　me；　and　he　smiled；　though　his　eyes　
stayed　wary。　
“I’m　glad　Charlie　has　decided　to　let　you　out　—　you’re　sadly　in　need　of　a　visit　to　the　bookstore。　I　can’t　

believe　you’re　reading　Wuthering　Heights　again。　Don’t　you　know　it　by　heart　yet？”　
　“Not　all　of　us　have　photographic　memories；”　I　said　curtly。　
　“Photographic　memory　or　not；　I　don’t　understand　why　you　like　it。　The　characters　are　ghastly　people　who　
ruin　each　others’　lives。　I　don’t　know　how　Heathcliff　and　Cathy　ended　up　being　ranked　with　couples　like　
Romeo　and　Juliet　or　Elizabeth　Ben　and　Mr。　Darcy。　It　isn’t　a　love　story；　it’s　a　hate　story。”　
　“You　have　some　serious　issues　with　the　classics；”　I　snapped。　
　“Perhaps　it’s　because　I’m　not　impressed　by　antiquity。”　He　smiled；　evidently　satisfied　that　he’d　distracted　
me。　“Honestly；　though；　why　do　you　read　it　over　and　over？”　His　eyes　were　vivid　with　real　interest　now；　trying　
—　again　—　to　unravel　the　convoluted　workings　of　my　mind。　He　reached　across　the　table　to　cradle　my　face　in　
his　hand。　“What　is　it　that　appeals　to　you？”　
　His　sincere　curiosity　disarmed　me。　“I’m　not　sure；”　I　said；　scrambling　for　coherency　while　his　gaze　
unintentionally　scattered　my　thoughts。　“I　think　it’s　something　about　the　inevitability。　How　nothing　can　keep　
them　apart　—　not　her　selfishness；　or　his　evil；　or　even　death；　in　the　end。　。　。　。”　
　His　face　was　thoughtful　as　he　considered　my　words。　After　a　moment　he　smiled　a　teasing　smile。　“I　still　think　
it　would　be　a　better　story　if　either　of　them　had　one　redeeming　quality。”　
　“I　think　that　may　be　the　point；”　I　disagreed。　“Their　love　is　their　only　redeeming　quality。”　
　“I　hope　you　have　better　sense　than　that　—　to　fall　in　love　with　someone　so　。　。　。　malignant。”　
　“It’s　a　bit　late　for　me　to　worry　about　who　I　fall　in　love　with；”　I　pointed　out。　“But　even　without　the　warning；　
I　seem　to　have　managed　fairly　well。”　
　He　laughed　quietly。　“I’m　glad　you　think　so。”　
　“Well；　I　hope　you’re　smart　enough　to　stay　away　from　someone　so　selfish。　Catherine　is　really　the　source　of　
all　the　trouble；　not　Heathcliff。”　
　“I’ll　be　on　my　guard；”　he　promised。　
　I　sighed。　He　was　so　good　at　distractions。　
　I　put　my　hand　over　his　to　hold　it　to　my　face。　“I　need　to　see　Jacob。”　
　His　eyes　closed。　“No。”　
　“It’s　truly　not　dangerous　at　all；”　I　said；　pleading　again。　“I　used　to　spend　all　day　in　La　Push　with　the　whole　
lot　of　them；　and　nothing　ever　happened。”　
　But　I　made　a　slip；　my　voice　faltered　at　the　end　because　I　realized　as　I　was　saying　the　words　that　they　were　
a　lie。　It　was　not　true　that　nothing　had　ever　happened。　A　brief　flash　of　memory　—　an　enormous　gray　wolf　
crouched　to　spring；　baring　his　daggerlike　teeth　at　me　—　had　my　palms　sweating　with　an　echo　of　remembered　
panic。　
　Edward　heard　my　heart　accelerate　and　nodded　as　if　I’d　acknowledged　the　lie　aloud。　“Werewolves　are　
unstable。　Sometimes；　the　people　near　them　get　hurt。　Sometimes；　they　get　killed。”　
　I　wanted　to　deny　it；　but　another　image　slowed　my　rebuttal。　I　saw　in　my　head　the　once　beautiful　face　of　
Emily　Young；　now　marred　by　a　trio　of　dark　scars　that　dragged　down　the　corner　of　her　right　eye　and　left　her　
mouth　warped　forever　into　a　lopsided　scowl。　
　He　waited；　grimly　triumphant；　for　me　to　find　my　voice。　
　“You　don’t　know　them；”　I　whis